P.S.: That’s not my butt. But it’s a butt I’m fond of.
WSE3
Category: ultracultural
Sumthin’ Jewy
’Tis the season when I start crabbing about how much I hate Christmas. It’s True! I really hate Christmas. Actually, I tend to have a perfectly lovely time on the day itself, being a big sap who appreciates the company of friends and loved ones, but the whole season leading up to it makes me wanna hurl. I hate the pressure, I hate the schmaltz, I hate the errands, I usually hate the weather. Miserable, all of it. And yes, I would like it more if I weren’t generally very poor and very busy this time of year. Since I’m exceptionally busy and exceptionally poor right now, I’m hatin’ Christmas like never before. My observance of the holiday will probably be limited to extravagances on the scale of a traditional Little House celebration, so I hope no one blinks if they get shiny new pennies or tin-foil stars this year. I’d much rather have a very special Arbor Day instead.
I’m very pleased, then, that we at the WYSIWYG Talent Show are thumbing our noses at the birth of Christ this year, and choosing to honor the Tribes this year:
More WYSIWYG Madness!
Instead of being slightly behind schedule, as I usually am with just about all my paying and non-paying projects, I’ve actually gotten a lot of advance work done for WYSIWYG lately. Namely, all the details for next month’s show, “Sumthin’ Jewy This Way Comes,” and perhaps our most ambitious event yet, the first-ever (first annual?) WYSIWYG Film Festival!
I’m really, really excited about the Film Festival, and I heartily encourage all of you burgeoning animators, filmmakers, videobloggers, and whatnot to submit work for consideration. You’ve got to be willing, though, to come to New York in January to present your work at the show, but who doesn’t love New York in January? Make those reservations now.
If you do come to New York for the Film Festival, though, I won’t be able to congratulate you in person. Because of a scheduling snafu, it turns out that I’m going to be in England the week of the Festival, making it the first time I’ll miss a WYSIWYG event since we started putting on these monthly gigs way back in February 2004. (Yes, we do have an anniversary coming up, thank you.) I’m sad about that, but pretty psyched to get back to England for the first time in four years or so.
I’m going to visit some pals, enjoy the balmy January weather, and check out the Typeface Design program at the University of Reading. As if you can’t believe all that glamor, I’m also going to spend Christmas in Iowa. Are you jealous yet?
Of course, there’s a lot of work I have to catch up on before any of that happens. Aside from all the other plates I’m spinning at the moment, I have to take care of the one big WYSIWYG project I haven’t handled yet: writing something to actually perform at tomorrow night’s show. Wish me luck!
Thanks for the Music
Next Tuesday night I take my place in the spotlight again to perform in this month’s WYSIWYG Talent Show — “I’m with the Band”:
I’ll be joined by fellow groupies Michelle Collins, Blaise K., Maegan “la Mala”, Josh Reynolds, Giulia Rozzi, and Margot Leitman.
Although I have yet to set a single word to paper (or screen), my plan is tell of the adventures young Sparky had during the heydays of my early 20s, when it was all about Boston’s own Chucklehead. There will be wacky stories about the weekend I was first exposed to the horrors of line dancing, the photos of the drummer in his mouse-eaten underwear, and the night Dave and I realized that the entire band had always assumed he was my boyfriend. (Which was, to be fair, not the first time that mistake had been made.) Oh, such funky days! You should have seen me when I still went to shows and danced. I was pretty awesome.
In Case You’re New to This Place…
In case you’ve ended up here after reading James Withers’ New York Blade article, “Blog Star Confidential” — WELCOME! I hope you enjoy the show.
Speaking of enjoying the show, you really ought to read more about the WYSIWYG Talent Show that my sexy cohorts and I put on every month at P.S. 122. WYSIWYG is a monthly series of all-blogger readings and performances, we’ve been at it since February 2004, we’ve featured over 80 bloggers so far, and it’s awesome and you’ll love it. Also, cheaper than going to the movies!
Our next show, which promises to be the cattiest yet, is coming up on Tuesday, September 27 — First, Last, and Insecurity: The World’s Worst Roommates!
Camp It Up
No more excuses! It’s time you got yourselves down to the WYSIWYG Talent Show before we take a little break for the rest of the summer. So get down to P.S. 122 tonight and catch Greetings from Lake WYSIWYG: Summer Camp Stories, the last show we’ll do until September.
Dance, Mermaid, Dance!
The Coney Island Mermaid Parade was, once again, a blast. I would expect no less, but the looming redevelopment of the boardwalk area makes me fear that this may be the last time the Mermaid Parade is still a wonderful, messy burst of local character quite like this.
I love the parade more than anything else that happens in New York all year. It’s the time when worlds collide, but in this case they always do it beautifully. The boardwalk is packed with every slice of life that the city has to offer, and everyone’s just having fun soaking it all in. Dreamy.
Sacrilege
Just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse, I discover that they’re making a TV miniseries based on one of my all-time favorite movies (for reasons both high and low), The Poseidon Adventure. That could’ve been a bad enough idea on its own (because you don’t fuck with a classic, OK?), but they managed to make it worse. This time, the ship isn’t capsized by a tidal wave — it’s capsized by…
I Won’t Shut Up, Either
But next Tuesday’s show — The City That Never Shuts Up: New York Stories — is going to be really special. Why? Because I’m performing, that’s why! I’m going to stand up and declare my lifelong passion for this awesome, filthy, magnificent, loud, delightful place. And not just me! Check out the rest of our ass-kicking line-up:
- Eurotrash (http://www.upsaid.com/eurotrash)
- Joe Jervis (joemygod.com)
- Maccers (maccers.blogspot.com)
- Giulia Rozzi (giuliaiscuteandcheap.blogspot.com)
- Jeff S. (tinmanic.com)
So take the miracle cure, lame-o! Get yourself to P.S. 122 next Tuesday, March 22, at 7:00!
Calling All Top Models!
Well, there’s something else you can get excited about: being a glamorous model for next month’s all-star, ass-kicking, body-moving, belly-laughing, cringe-inducing, first-anniversary WYSIWYG Talent Show: Spawn. Of. Worst. Sex. Ever!!
For the show’s promo images, we wanna have a few different versions of a close-up of someone’s face making a horrible reaction in response to something that’s happening “down there” (ahem). And we want you, shameless bloggers of the world, to be included in our gallery of horrors. Here are a couple of examples of what we’re going for:
There are two ways you can include yourself in the fun:
- Come to this week’s show and let me take your picture before or after the show. No need to get naked or anything, so don’t be shy.
- Send me your photos! (Out-of-towners and foreigners — I’m talking to you!) Try to get a good reaction shot of yourself (or have someone take it for you), and send me the full-size original image from your camera. I’ll take care of cropping it and getting the color right to match the others.
I’ll add images to the WYSIWYG web site as they come in, and then we’ll include a gallery of all the images on the site and in the show program. C’mon, play along!