Worst. School. Ever.

I worry about those kids at the Xavier Institute. What kind of an education are they really getting? Yes, they learn to embrace their uniqueness and fight like ninjas, but what about math? Unless they’re exempt from the New York State Regents Exams (I was, but I was taught by Jesuits — I don’t know if Xavier gets the same breaks), they really ought to be boning up on their writing and algebraic skills.

Let’s face it, their faculty is — at best — overworked, and frequently unavailable for office hours. Isn’t Wolverine part of about 50 teams right now? That doesn’t leave much time for him to administer the Presidential Physical Fitness Exam to his students. Who’s chair of the foreign languages department, huh? Is there any arts curriculum? Northstar has all but disappeared from view lately, so maybe he’s been devoting a lot of time to teaching his economics classes instead.

Scott Summers apparently has a graduate degree from the Institute, but what was his major, anyway? No wonder he’s such an emotional cripple: he’s basically been home-schooled his entire adult life. And I don’t think the rest of them are likely to turn out much better.

I started thinking about all of this when I was applying to graduate school this past month. As I filled out paperwork and gathered up my transcripts, I began wondering who helps the kids from other countries deal with their student visas and TOEFL scores? Is there an admissions interview, or does Xavier just give them a telepathic once-over and see how many extra body parts they have? You get the impression that Xavier handles all the administrative duties at the school, but couldn’t he use a secretary or an assistant or something? I don’t mean to bring up old scandals, but he does tend to disappear or go all evil now and then. In his current absence, I somehow doubt that Scott and Emma are processing paperwork or doing any college counselling.

Basically, the Xavier Institute is just another charter school run amok. The kids are running wild, the faculty is running wilder, and there seem to be no standards or accountability whatsoever. Next time they dip into the endowment fund to rebuild the Danger Room or the Blackbird, is anyone likely to bitch about the funds being taken away from the library’s budget? I doubt it.

All this just makes me love Kitty Pryde even more. She rose above this nonsense and went on to a regular college to get a decent education and learn everyday social skills. She didn’t let those hacks at the Xavier Institute keep her from making the most of her academic gifts. Now that she’s back at the mansion and running classes of her own, I hope she turns out to be part of the solution, and not just another part of the problem.

5 thoughts on “Worst. School. Ever.”

  1. Ah, but that half-assed edjamacation is exactly on par with a prep school (at least in my NYC public school mind). All the locals in Westchester thought Xavier’s was like some kind of Dalton or Calhoun or Brearly for the Rockland County set. (Probably the place you sent your really bad druggie kids if the streets of the upper east side were too tempting).
    I ended up in college with a slew of these private school types and they all acted as smart as anyone whose faculty were kidnapped by the Shiar or Brood or were off fighting in Gemora or Secret Wars. As long as there was the parent’s money and vacations in Ibiza, it didn;t matter what they learned.

  2. But don’t forget that Kitty Pryde also nearly blew up most of Hyde Park while she was student at the U of C. That’s what happens when you mix bartending with experimental physics.
    Not that blowing up Hyde Park would be such a bad thing, mind you.

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