While recently reading an assortment of X-Men issues [Uncanny X-Men #148, Phoenix Endsong #1, and a bunch of Astonishing X-Men (Best. X-Book. Ever. [Maybe.])], I thought to myself, “Cyclops sure is a dick.” More to the point, he’s probably the biggest drama queen to ever pass through the doors of the X-Mansion. (And there has certainly been a lot of competition for that honor.) With the handsome-but-incessantly-whiny Mr. Summers, it’s always, “Oh woe is me! I can’t open my eyes! My true love is too powerful! My true love died! My girlfriend looks just like my dead true love! I have to leave my wife because her doppelganger, my true love, is back from the dead! I finally married my true love but even though she’s telepathic she can’t possibly understand me! So I’ll have a psychic affair that my true love couldn’t possibly find out about! My true love died again! No one understands why I’m screwing this other hot telepath right after my true love died! My true love is alive again!” The grass is always greener on the other side, isn’t it, Scott?
Do you see a pattern here? Do you notice how it’s always more about Scott than Jean, or whatever woman is reminding him of or distracting him from Jean? Scott and his problems! Scott and his great, true love! Which, maybe, wasn’t so great. It’s amazing there’s not a round of audible sighs and eye-rolling every time Scott opens his mouth. Thankfully, at least the fabulous Miss Frost has the nerve to give him crap about it. But she’s caught up in the drama, just like Jean. And Madelyne, and Lee Forrester, and the whole Summers clan and their various timelines and realities, and very person at that school who has to put up with him. Look, Summers, everyone has trouble: learn how to suck it up.
Scott Summers is like the one friend of yours who’s always bitching and moaning about how bad things and bad men are always happening to him and he just doesn’t know whhhhhhhhhyyyyy.
Hey, Scott… Co-dependent Mutants Anonymous just called. They want to know if you’re bringing donuts to the next meeting. Bobby Drake already said he’d be making the coffee. (And don’t get me started about Icebrat’s incessant drama either.)
I really, really don’t get what Emma Frost sees in him. An opportunity for penance and forgiveness after being an evil psychotic bitch towards the X-Men for years? Cold and controlling whiny sex? It’s gotta be the visor, right? Chicks dig the visor.
Me, I think it’s a pathetic and obviously transparent ruse to infiltrate the group and take them out. Again. When Kitty Pryde is the rational one (pointing out that none of them should be trusting her), you know something’s up.
Personally, I think it would have made a much more satisfying resolution if “NotMagneto” had whacked Scott Summers instead of Jean at the end of the “Planet X” run. Then again, they’d only bring Scott back in another 20-30 issues or so, saying it had something to do with being merged with Apocalypse, or he’s a spider-clone, or from another Exiles universe… blah blah blah… retcon retcon retcon…
She’s back again? ALREADY? I guess if anyone has to write “Jean comes back to life, pt. 93,” I’d like to see Mr. Whedon do it. He’s already proven he can bring the ladies back from the dead, and make it look good. Except for Buffy’s mom, of course. (By the way, now that the TPB is out, I too am loving the X-men, for the first time ever. And it’s because the dialogue and interaction is so much less hackneyed than ever before. When Kitty said “Are you going to try to kill everyone? I just wanna know if I’m next,” and Logan replied “No way. You’d go all ninja on me, and I’d be screwed,” I said to myself: “Wow. Logan said something that wasn’t a cliché. And it makes everything better.”)
Yeah, it’s amazing how much better the X-Men can be when they’re just written like…well…people. But it’s not Whedon bringing Jean back to life, although the plot device they’re using in Phoenix Endsong isn’t so different from the whole dilemma of Buffy being brought back to life against her will.
You can hear/witness audible sighs and eye-rolling whenver I read about Scott Summers. After a very brief period of wanting to be Cyclops when I was approximately nine years old, I have grown to loathe the character. Sure I was thrilled when they killed him off a few years ago… finally! (Although I wasn’t reading the X-Men at the time. X-books in the ’90s’s – shudder!) But of course, we all knew he’d be back. You hit the nail on the head, Sparky, he’s a dick. The whole Jean/Madelyne thing was the ultimate. Madelyne really should have kicked his ass permanently. It would have been justified.
Other than the very brief time when I was around 9 or 10 and I would want to be Cyclops when we played superheroes, I have really enjoyed despising the character. Whiney, arrogant, pathetic f*ck-up that he is. I remember being smugly pleased when they killed him on in the late 90’s, although I had given up on the X-books for a time during the ’90’s, so I didn’t actually read that story. Of course, we all knew he’d be back. What he did to Madelyne was unforgivable, and I would have so enjoyed her giving it to him permanently. Ah well, Scottie’s supposed to be the hero, right?
Mmm…I never paid any mind to Scott Summers unless he had scruff. In the issues where he was hanging out on the StarJammer with his dad and brother, he had some nice scruff going on, and the artist (Byrne?) even had him sporting chest fur.
Oh, and PJ and Sparky should ebrace their destinies:
http://www.pvponline.com/archive.php3?archive=20050113
You beat us to the punch(line), Jimbo: we were gonna blog that. It’s funny because it’s true! Especially if you know us and understand what design weenies we are.
You know, I read a bunch of back issue synopses at the X-Axis recently (oh, the painful memories that dredged up) and they mentioned Psylocke throwing herself at Scotty boy. Makes me wonder, does he have a secondary power that makes him catnip to female telepaths?
>:}
-M
P.S. And what was with him ragging on Kurt’s (lack of) leadership skills? [Ooh, those were really bad stories too.] Did it not occur to anyone else that they weren’t getting after action reports etc from Kurt’s team so maybe they should ask?