Diana Prince, Fag Hag

In an apartment building in Greenwich VillageOK, picture it. It’s 1979 and you’re living in pre-Crisis Greenwich Village. You’re a dancer who is, perhaps, a little light in the loafers. Oh, surely no one knows for sure, but there’s something in the way you wear those purple slacks and those neck chains with such flair. Your boyf…er, your “roommate,” Thomas, notices that you have a new neighbor. She’s tall, athletic, and has a gorgeous head of hair like some kind of Greek goddess or something. It’s a shame she wears those dowdy glasses and seems to lose her temper if she can’t find those clunky wristbands of hers, but clearly she has some pizazz. What, she used to be a NASA astronaut trainee but just moved back to New York for some glamorous job at the U.N.? Girl, don’t tell me that bitch has brains as well as a body like that! And single? Jackpot!

Now, how hard would this rock? Wouldn’t you want to lure her into your web of fabulousness and make her your new best friend? Seriously — everyone knows what Thomas is up to when he goes for those “walks” down by the piers, so why shouldn’t you find yourself some sassy lassy to gossip with when you go for a cocktail? Those other queens will be so jealous they’ll scratch your eyes out when you waltz into Studio 54 with this glamazon on your arm! If only she weren’t always disappearing when you least expect it. Doesn’t she know hard many twinky chorus boys you had to flirt with to get those tickets to “A Chorus Line”?

In an apartment building in Greenwich Village

(This moment between Diana and Lance taken from Wonder Woman #260, 1979)