What in god’s name is going on here? Am I really using about 8 to 9 gigs of bandwidth a month at this point? that’s insane. Why do you people bother? Am I really that fascinating? Doubt it. Sheesh!
No, don’t get me wrong. I’m flattered and honored and amazed that I get that much traffic. I never check my stats, so it’s always a surprise to find out that people actually think that’s it’s worthwhile to stop in here from time to time. I guess I’m a little perplexed again, because this is the kind of existential blog angst that seems to happen to all of us periodically about why I do this. It costs me hundreds of dollars a year, it makes me feel obligated to perform whether or not I want to do so, it often sucks time away from other work I’d like to do, it makes me deal with web-site design, which is something I don’t really enjoy much at all.
So what’s in it for me? Why has this site turned out to be the most substantial thing I’ve worked on for these past six years or so? For that matter, why has this turned out to be the only personal endeavor I’ve ever stuck with for so long? I suppose there’s a lot of answers, and not all of them arty and altruistic. (Remember, this is called UltraSparky, a carefully thought out conceit to counter any criticism about whether or not it should be about anything but me, me, me!)
I suppose it’s the people behind those eight or nine gigs a month: the friends I’ve made and keep making (and the social obligations/pleasures that go along with them), the opportunities I’ve had to participate in (and maybe even influence and inspire) the development of a form of democratic media that I really believe in, the people who come here and add their own thoughts to the mix and make this really participatory, the people who care about me who come here to make sure I’m still ticking when I’m too caught up in one damn thing or another to keep in touch regularly. (By the way, I’m awfully happy and doing very well these days, thanks.) I suppose you’re the reason I do it. You make me engage with the world on some level every day, rather than just putter away on my own.
Thanks, ya bastards. But pardon the slimmed-down redesign. Engagements are expensive.