The Bottled-Up City of Candor

It was a big decision for me to be candid here on the site about what’s been happening to me lately. But considering that a lot of my struggles are about being afraid to admit to weakness or vulnerability, I thought it would be a healthy step to let it all hang loose for once and see how things go. Also, my thoughts have been so addled lately that it’s been good for me to record them here during moments of clarity, or at least during the moments when I had the energy to try sorting them out. For friends and family and such, it’s proven to be a useful way to take a barometer reading of how I’m doing. For other people who read but don’t actually know me, I guess it just makes for a curious roller-coaster ride of depression and angst. Whee! Come watch Sparky get his crazy on!

I haven’t really found it detrimental to just own up to my problems here, however. I feel a little exposed, true, but all the venting and the navel-gazing has been pretty cathartic. That counts for something, right?

2 thoughts on “The Bottled-Up City of Candor”

  1. Cathartic is a good word for it…sorting out is a nice phrase as well. Having all this stuff running through your head for a brief moment is one thing; putting it down somewhere, anywhere, so that it becomes “solid” is what makes the difference. Then you can’t forget about it or ignore it. It’s tangible, and can be revisited and processed and eventually, accepted or discarded. At least that’s how it works for me, and I’m pretty good at ignoring what I know but don’t want to face up to or admit.

  2. keep it up. it’s nice to hear feelings from a male member of our family!!!!! love you.

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