{"id":327,"date":"2000-12-10T20:58:03","date_gmt":"2000-12-10T20:58:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ultrasparky.org\/blog\/2000\/12\/10\/insecure_freak\/"},"modified":"2024-11-28T09:46:09","modified_gmt":"2024-11-28T14:46:09","slug":"insecure_freak","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ultrasparky.org\/blog\/2000\/12\/10\/insecure_freak\/","title":{"rendered":"Insecure Freak"},"content":{"rendered":"

God, I can be such an insecure freak sometimes.<\/strong> This isn\u2019t helped by my occasional inability to make sense of a situation when I like a guy. Usually, it\u2019s no problem for me to figure out the who-likes-who dynamics of a situation, but with this one I\u2019m just lost. It’s happened before: I know I have an interest in things working out, so I just can\u2019t make heads or tails out of the situation if it doesn\u2019t all happen easily. Good grief. Just when I was convinced that he was trying to butter me up for the brush off (the infamous \u201cYou\u2019re the nicest guy ever\u201d remark was my tip-off), he calls all happy to talk to me and asks me to dinner.<\/p>\n

Now, the big question is: How much of this is a reflection of my own fears about the risks of sleeping with him some more? Is it pathetically passive-aggressive of me to assume he\u2019s being a jerk so I don\u2019t have to figure out how comfortable I can be dating someone who\u2019s positive?<\/p>\n

Speaking of which, it\u2019s high time I get tested again. It\u2019s been a long time since my last test, and I\u2019ve been a bigger slut during that time than ever before. As fastidious as I am, I know I\u2019ve slipped a couple of times out of those dozens and dozens. Between this one (who still hasn\u2019t actually mentioned anything about it to me) and my sister\u2019s bout with a brain tumor, you can imagine how thoughts of mortality are darting around in my head.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

God, I can be such an insecure freak sometimes. This isn\u2019t helped by my occasional inability to make sense of a situation when I like a guy. Usually, it\u2019s no problem for me to figure out the who-likes-who dynamics of a situation, but with this one I\u2019m just lost. It’s happened before: I know I … Continue reading “Insecure Freak”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,5,15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-327","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ultragay","category-ultrapersonal","category-ultrapositive"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ultrasparky.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/327","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ultrasparky.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ultrasparky.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ultrasparky.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ultrasparky.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=327"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/ultrasparky.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/327\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":71776,"href":"https:\/\/ultrasparky.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/327\/revisions\/71776"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ultrasparky.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=327"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ultrasparky.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=327"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ultrasparky.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=327"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}