{"id":2726,"date":"2012-08-20T22:19:09","date_gmt":"2012-08-20T22:19:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ultrasparky.org\/blog\/2012\/08\/20\/portraits_of_an\/"},"modified":"2024-11-29T15:02:23","modified_gmt":"2024-11-29T20:02:23","slug":"portraits_of_an","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ultrasparky.org\/blog\/2012\/08\/20\/portraits_of_an\/","title":{"rendered":"Portraits of an aging blogger"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Sparky<\/a><\/p>\n

On the whole,<\/strong> I am not a confident man, especially about my looks or my body. This is slowly getting worse as I get older, and I move further away from an optimum version of my self-image that I never quite achieved, and is now beyond my reach for good. The background of that is typical, tedious, and not worth getting into, but the overall effect is that I generally hate seeing pictures of myself, as they tend to reinforce what I already think. I\u2019m still curious to see them, though, because from time to time they turn out alright, and I get a glimpse of a version of myself that I don\u2019t loathe quite so much. Once in a while, a bit of external perspective makes me think there may be some promise left after all.<\/p>\n

\"Sparky<\/a><\/p>\n

Last month, I had a chance to meet up with a photographer<\/a>\/artist<\/a>\/restaurateur<\/a> named Martin, or Male\u00ae<\/a>, as he goes by on the internet, while he was in London. Martin had contributed some great photos<\/a> to Pink Mince<\/i><\/a> a while back. We\u2019d never met in person before, and he wanted to photograph my tattoos. We got on well enough, so strolled around a bit one afternoon and caught a show at the Barbican the next day, during which he\u2019d occasionally stop me for a few portraits. (If you know me well enough, you can identify the expression I make when I\u2019m self-conscious but trying to look calm, cool, and collected regardless.)<\/p>\n

\"Sparky<\/a><\/p>\n

It\u2019s been startling to see the results as they\u2019ve trickled onto his blog<\/a> since then. While I still cringe a little at the site of myself, I don\u2019t actually dislike the composite portrait that is built up throughout the set. A little older, scrawnier, greyer than I\u2019d care to see, but there\u2019s character there, and I tend to forget about that. It helps that Martin\u2019s skilled with a camera, and has chosen moments well. But that considered view from someone else who is seeing me with fewer preconceptions is refreshing. Maybe I\u2019m not such a wreck after all?<\/p>\n

\"Sparky<\/a><\/p>\n

Ask me again when I\u2019m tired or particularly frustrated and I may change my thoughts altogether, but at the moment I\u2019ll cling to a bit of good vibes. I spend so much time in my own head, where the outlook is often rather bleak, that it\u2019s a pleasant change of pace to look in from the outside. Thanks for the brief taste of self-esteem, Martin!<\/p>\n


\n\"Sparky<\/a>
\n\"Sparky<\/a>
\n\"Sparky<\/a>
\n\"Sparky<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

On the whole, I am not a confident man, especially about my looks or my body. This is slowly getting worse as I get older, and I move further away from an optimum version of my self-image that I never quite achieved, and is now beyond my reach for good. The background of that is … Continue reading “Portraits of an aging blogger”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2726","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ultrapersonal","category-ultraphotographic"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ultrasparky.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2726","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ultrasparky.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ultrasparky.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ultrasparky.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ultrasparky.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2726"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/ultrasparky.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2726\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":74558,"href":"https:\/\/ultrasparky.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2726\/revisions\/74558"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ultrasparky.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2726"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ultrasparky.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2726"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ultrasparky.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2726"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}