{"id":183,"date":"2000-06-25T15:00:58","date_gmt":"2000-06-25T15:00:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ultrasparky.org\/blog\/2000\/06\/25\/chelseas_future\/"},"modified":"2024-12-01T16:30:28","modified_gmt":"2024-12-02T00:30:28","slug":"chelseas_future","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ultrasparky.org\/blog\/2000\/06\/25\/chelseas_future\/","title":{"rendered":"Chelsea&#8217;s Future"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/ultrasparky.org\/blog\/img\/titan_2.jpg\" align=\"right\" hspace=\"3\" vspace=\"3\" >In the future,<\/strong> according to <i><a href=\"http:\/\/www.afterearth.com\" >Titan A.E.,<\/a><\/i> all that will remain of Earth&#8217;s culture will be cargo pants, muscle shirts, and homo archetypes. I know this movie was manufactured specifically for 12-year-olds, so I wasn&#8217;t expecting quality, but I was genuinely surprised to see how well they managed to make the hero into a Chelsea muscle twink and make the villain character into his pseudo-butch Chelsea-daddy type. There wasn&#8217;t much romantic subtext, thankfully, but I swear that the characters were drawn from pictures taken from circuit-party snapshots. I couldn&#8217;t stop giggling.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In the future, according to Titan A.E., all that will remain of Earth&#8217;s culture will be cargo pants, muscle shirts, and homo archetypes. I know this movie was manufactured specifically for 12-year-olds, so I wasn&#8217;t expecting quality, but I was genuinely surprised to see how well they managed to make the hero into a Chelsea &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/ultrasparky.org\/blog\/2000\/06\/25\/chelseas_future\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;Chelsea&#8217;s Future&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-183","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ultracultural"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ultrasparky.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/183","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ultrasparky.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ultrasparky.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ultrasparky.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ultrasparky.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=183"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/ultrasparky.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/183\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":70878,"href":"https:\/\/ultrasparky.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/183\/revisions\/70878"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ultrasparky.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=183"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ultrasparky.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=183"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ultrasparky.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=183"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}