{"id":1257,"date":"2004-09-16T07:32:09","date_gmt":"2004-09-16T07:32:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ultrasparky.org\/blog\/2004\/09\/16\/shove_it\/"},"modified":"2024-11-30T00:29:00","modified_gmt":"2024-11-30T05:29:00","slug":"shove_it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ultrasparky.org\/blog\/2004\/09\/16\/shove_it\/","title":{"rendered":"Shove It"},"content":{"rendered":"

I\u2019ve been grappling with this problem<\/strong> in varying degrees for well over a year, but I knew I had to tough it out for a while. The problem became more acute this last Spring, but I had made a promise and didn\u2019t want to be a dick about things. I tried, unsuccessfully, to deal with the issue as the Summer wound to a close and the real scope of the problem became clearer and clearer. It\u2019s pretty much the only thing I\u2019ve been able to think about for the last couple of weeks, and I\u2019m 99.5% sure it\u2019s time to deal with it once and for all. (As soon as I figure out if that .5% is a half-point of fear or pragmatism.)<\/p>\n

My stable, full-time, and fairly lucrative job is killing my career. Not only is it crushing my soul<\/a>, but it\u2019s also keeping me from doing work that will help me get any further in my career of choice. Every so often, people have contacted me about freelance design projects that sound really interesting, but I\u2019ve had to turn them down because I didn\u2019t have the time to give them the attention they need because of my full-time non-design job. When I was applying to schools and applying for jobs, I barely had any recent work to show because I haven\u2019t been doing any graphic design, except for basic things I\u2019ve been able to knock out in my spare time. As far as my career goes, I don\u2019t have a lot to show for the last few years, other than some more experience at managing large projects and a handful of excuses why a designer would stay so long at a job that regularly refuses to consider graphic design. Yes, it\u2019s been interesting in some ways. Yes, I\u2019ve gotten my finances back under control. Yes, I\u2019ve taught myself that I have more patience than I thought. Yes, I\u2019ve learned how to consider a wider scope of issues when I think about a project.<\/p>\n

But what do I have to show for it? Not much. How can I show that the lessons I\u2019ve learned make me a better designer? Right now, I can\u2019t. What I need to do<\/i> is design things. What I need to do<\/i> is something I enjoy, something with tangible results that show what I can do. If I\u2019m going to work as a designer, I need to work as a designer. If I\u2019m going to get<\/i> work as a designer, I\u2019ll need to offer more than assurances and outdated work. If I\u2019m going to take another stab at graduate school, I need to think about what I want to learn about design, not how badly I want to stop working at something else.<\/p>\n

I think I\u2019ve hit the tipping point. I did what I promised my employers I would do, and now they need to know if I\u2019m going to go or if I\u2019m going to commit to more long-term efforts. I needed to beat my debt into submission, and I have. I even feel like I\u2019ve paid a debt to an old friend<\/a>, who would surely want me to think about the future of my dreams as well as the future of my work. I think that if I don\u2019t start doing a little of the right work, it will only get harder and harder to do more of it.<\/p>\n

I think \u2014 no, I know<\/i> \u2014 it\u2019s time to quit the job that\u2019s holding me back and cobble together a little work that\u2019ll take me forward. I need time to concentrate on new projects and developing my thinking. I need time to concentrate on making things. I need time to do the work I want to do, and be the person I want to be. Isn\u2019t a little hardship worth that?<\/p>\n

And besides, aren\u2019t there some of you out there who could use the services of someone like me?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I\u2019ve been grappling with this problem in varying degrees for well over a year, but I knew I had to tough it out for a while. The problem became more acute this last Spring, but I had made a promise and didn\u2019t want to be a dick about things. I tried, unsuccessfully, to deal with … Continue reading “Shove It”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1257","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ultrapersonal"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ultrasparky.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1257","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ultrasparky.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ultrasparky.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ultrasparky.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ultrasparky.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1257"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/ultrasparky.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1257\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":76991,"href":"https:\/\/ultrasparky.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1257\/revisions\/76991"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ultrasparky.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1257"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ultrasparky.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1257"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ultrasparky.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1257"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}