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ultrapersonal

100 things about Sparky, revisited

I’ve been promising myself that I would use all this free time I have now to devote energy to writing here again, but I have become so undisciplined about writing for myself that it’s been extremely hard to keep that...

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Funemployment!

It's been a mostly pleasant time since I left my old job back in September. For the first month or so, I was actively using my newfound free time to get reacquainted with New York, which I actually never quite...

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A wish for 2014

It’s pretty common to hear people shake an angry fist at the close of a year, and I’ve certainly done the same. All in all, though, this past year was pretty spectacular for me. Lots of opportunities came my way,...

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Where do we go from here?

I’ve been having a serious dilemma with this entire web site for the last few years. Ultrasparky.org doesn’t really serve much purpose any more, and it hasn’t for some time. At the same time, I don’t want to retire the...

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I have an announcement

I have an announcement and I'm going to make it using the classic medium of pop music. Yes, after about 7 years in England, it's time. I've been feeling the pull of home, warts and all, for a while now....

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Psycho Sixteen

In this flyer I made for my friend Lynn's 16th birthday party, we can see that I was playing aorund with this punky, pre-digital, cut-n-paste aesthetic ages ago. This was 1988 when I was 17, just about to head...

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February

Why yes, as a matter of fact I will be spending all of February back in New York City, on IMPORTANT WORK BUSINESS. That's a much better way to return for a spell than than two years ago, when...

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Portraits of an aging blogger

On the whole, I am not a confident man, especially about my looks or my body. This is slowly getting worse as I get older, and I move further away from an optimum version of my self-image that I...

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Previously untapped memories

WHOA. It's astonishing that such a random old ad — spotted on Dionne Warlock — could tap into such a well of memory. It's not mental memory, really: I can't really recall anything about where or when I would...

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The bill for all his kindness

I remember the day something like this happened: He did not really wish to jam bread and vegetable mush up the anus of a chicken, but doing this for me added to my staggering debt. And one day Victor would...

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Spinsterish but sensual

Have you ever found yourself reading a novel or something, and then stumbled across a passage that resonated so clearly with something that was in your head, or that you've done before — OR BOTH — that you almost felt...

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Modern Prometheus

For lack of a paperback to read during a long bus ride, I turned to Project Gutenberg on my phone and started re-reading Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley's Frankenstein, or the Modern Prometheus. I had forgotten the set-up of the story, in...

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Linkdump: Introversion

If you've met me, you've probably picked up on my being maddeningly, awkwardly shy, unless you've known me so long that you've forgotten about it. (Strangers terrify me, basically.) This has always been a bit of a problem, but has...

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Treasures from the attic

About five years ago, when I was getting ready to move to England and take another crack at grad school, I was starting to worry about what to do with all my stuff. I'd surrendered many treasures as I downsized...

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Ziggy played guitar here

After living out of suitcases for the past few months, I finally get to settle down again month. I was spared the horrors and aggravation of gambling on strangers when some friends of mine in Greenwich let me know that...

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Avant Garde

I spent the day working on a custom version of this typeface, thinking that it's one of those designs that only seems to deserve its fame when it's used just right, but the rest of the time feels a...

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Old Friends

I had a vivid imagination as a kid, in a way that is a lot harder to maintain once you get older and have to devote more and more mental space to the rest of the world. I wasn't lonely,...

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Damned if I do, etc.

I've been doing a lot of housekeeping in the archives lately — republishing old stuff, cleaning up code, integrating stuff from my Tumblr blogs — and I keep seeing old things that remind me how little certain things have improved....

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Archival material: NYC edition

A decade ago, which is essentially a lifetime ago, the New York Times had a web-only site about living in New York, and featured me in a weekly column about homes/apartments in the city. While I'm impressed that the article...

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Apropos of nothing

Sigh. Yes. dyfl: You know the scene in all the children’s movies when the lonely little wolf cub watches all the other wolf cubs playing down in the valley and doesn’t understand why he doesn’t have a pack of his...

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Official business

April Fool's Day is probably a bad time to make a major announcement, but I swear this one is for real. As of today, I am employed full-time as a senior type designer at Monotype Imaging, based out of our...

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Bollywood!

I've just come back from an incredible two-week trip to India — a whirlwind tour with stops in Bombay, Ahmedabad, Boroda, Calcutta, Serampore, and Bangalore — and there's a lot of material to sift through, a lot of new...

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Feelings, yeah?

Happy Valentine’s Day!...

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You got it raw!

I’ve wanted to write something about John Waters, and why I respect and adore him so much, and how he's been so influential for so much of my life — I saw him speak last Saturday night, just before I...

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Sparky in exile

So, yeah, I’m leaving the UK for a bit. I’ve been here for the last four years on a series of visas, and my current work permit expires in a little under two weeks. We haven't been able to get...

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Life on Mars

For the record, in case any of you are or know eccentric billionaires, I would ABSOLUTELY be willing to go to Mars, regardless of whether or not there were a way to get back. In fact, that would be a...

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I knew her when

Long before autotune, that Oscar, little baby Apple, and even her duet with Huey Lewis, young miss Gwyneth Paltrow and a few of her chums at the exclusive Spence School on the upper east side of Manhattan planned a...

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It Gets Better

Overall, I’m a big fan of the It Gets Better project. I think it's an incredibly important message to send out into the world, if only because there are so many kids who really, really need to hear it, and...

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Type is only skin-deep

Ready at last! Feast your eyes on this little video clip of me getting my tattoo of the "w" from Type Mafia's Actium Black Italic this Summer. Henk Schiffmacher, the tattoo artist, was quite a character, and luckily he...

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Pink Mini 5 — Homegrown

That little thing I posted about my recent trip to New York was actually the seed of the latest Pink Mini, a one-off loosely related to Pink Mince. You can order it here, if you want to see and...

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The slippery soapbox

I foolishly got involved in a heated online discussion about HIV and dating and disclosure this weekend. Foolish, that is, because in the midst of a lot of passionate — and often mean-spirited &mdash opinions firing back and forth, I...

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Home Again

It feels a bit wrong to say New York is home at this point. It's been four years now since I moved to the UK, and while London doesn't quite feel like home yet, New York just feels like the...

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Blighty

Judging from the many, many house renovation projects going on in my area (Leyton — vicariously experience the charms by buying the typeface), people around here are making an investment in their homes. While that’s a good sign overall...

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Wonders never cease

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Filth for future reference

I’m amazed that I never stumbled across this interview with John Waters before, since it was in BUTT years ago. However, I’ve worked about 14 hours today and I’m too tired to concentrate even on a pleasant surprise like...

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Status Report

This week, my childhood idol Jaime Sommers shall provide you wih a dramatic interpretation of my current feelings about my work/life balance:...

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The kisses are for the other girls!

Confession time: This is basically what runs through my head most of the time. I have moments of slightly more self-confidence, but they're fleeting, and generally decimated by the stark reality of my day-to-day life. [Another gem from Comically...

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The many faces of Sparky

My career seems to be at the point where I rarely need to tailor or tinker with my CV (or résumé in the American parlance), but I need to rewrite short bios over and over again. that’s a good sign,...

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Root canal!

So much fun, right? Who doesn't love a nice root canal now and then? Well, maybe it;s not the most pleasant way to pass the time, but it sure beats the hell out of an infected broken tooth that flares...

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Flashback

that’s not the world's best photo of Adam Ant, really, but I smiled when I saw it because for many years I worked off-and-on in that slopey-sided building behind him, at the greatest ongoing freelance gig I ever had...

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May Day!

Oh, nothing to fuss about. that’s not "May day!" as in, "Help!"; it's "May Day!" as in, "It's the first of May and after a solid four months of working almost every waking hour, money has last started to...

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Hi-class operations in the 'hood

While enjoying this teeny article about the cost structure behind designer clothes that sell for seemingly unreasonable prices, a little bell went off in the back of my brain as the writer mentioned the Martin Greenfield factory, where they were...

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Oh Coney, My Coney

The start of Summer always makes me long for Coney Island, especially now that it's so far away and I'll probably never see it again before it finally gives in to all the pressure and becomes something else. But there's...

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Let me pass

New passport photos, at last all sorted. Hilariously, there's a place down the street form the studio that does them. Well, it wouldn't have helped to get them last week since I’m still waiting for a paycheck deposit so...

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Bitch, please

You'll have to pardon the whining, but sometimes a guy just needs to let it all out, OK? Here, in no particular order, is a brief list of bad things that happened yesterday: Woke up to an email informing me...

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Snaps

Today's passport photo, capturing 39 1/2 years or so of stress and strain. Of course, there's always some kind of TREMENDOUS HASSLE lurking in the background every time I need to take another damned one of these, and today...

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Tweetless

Screw it. I tried to work out a system for integrating my Twitter posts with the posts here, but it just wasn't working. It was hard to set up just right, a pain to mess with all my RSS feeds,...

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Zubby

This is Dave. He's been my best friend for slightly over 20 years now. He's awesome. (From here.)...

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Woe = me

It's not that bad, I swear, but a guy's gotta let off some steam now and then, right? Of course, those long, mopey periods of repeated blows to my self-confidence are punctuated by enough lucidity to realize that even...

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The little things

Extrapolating from current data, it looks like 2010 be the year I sell off all my worldly goods in a vain attempt to pay bills, but still manage to starve myself. Alone. Still, there are a handful of things that...

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Post-Christmas

Well, it was nice enough for work to issue my January paycheck a week early so I could make it through Christmas. Still, looking at my budget projections for the next month, my only chance for solvency for the next...

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That Guy

I feel your pain, Indie Rock Pete. A variety of things this past year conspired to undermine a lot of my slowly developing personal confidence, so that by the time I turned 39 a few weeks ago I was...

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Fringe Cuisine

On a lighter note, I’m strangely pleased to see the Times do a nice round-up of affordable, exotic dining options on Staten Island. Although I’m not likely to ever get a chance to explore any of these places, it's...

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Code Red

I love my job — really, really love my job, to such a degree that I regularly worry that I can't possibly do well enough to live up to the opportunity of it. But there's a catch. (Well, there are...

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Awkward Chit-Chat

More than once lately, I have been making small talk with someone I’ve just met — usually a guy, usually one that’s interesting in some way — and he'll ask if I have a boyfriend, which is easy enough to...

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In-flight news

I’m posting from an airplane, just because I can. Every once in a while, it actually feels like I live in the 21st century. In-flight internet access — even for a fee — is the one bright spot in my...

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Pink Minx

Having grown up with a life-long concern about being perceived as a sissy, largely due to a long childhood being called a called a sissy or being told not to be one, I opted to participate in Gay Shame...

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Subway Stories

It only dawned on me yesterday that the videos from the WYSIWYG Talent Show were still languishing on our old web server, which is rather a terrible waste considering how much more easily you can handle video on the internet...

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Table for one, please

I am a pretty intensely introverted person, which can be a challenging thing now and again. As long as I get a little time to myself to regroup and unwind, I’m perfectly comfortable being sociable or doing far more extroverted...

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Crap Rotation

I’ve had analog stuff on the brain lately. I may be someone who's been online for a long time, and who stays tethered to the internet throughout the average day in one way or another, but I’ve always been a...

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Sproing!

Well, well. Spring is certainly in the air, isn't it!...

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Surprise shame

I’ve always known that my music collection is filled with a wide enough variety to both please and horrify just about anyone. (The surprisingly brilliant Don Ho cover of Shock the Monkey to which I’m currently listening, for example, does...

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Food Porn

Since coming to England, I have often found myself complaining about how much I hate the sandwiches here. They're always pre-made and soggy, filled with too much mayonnaise (gross) and never enough meat or cheese or whatever you would actually...

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A Quick Tour

I made a short little video to show how nice my new place is, and how lucky I am to have found it. Especially after the last nine months of slowly degenerating awfulness. Sadly, Flickr cuts it off shortly before...

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Et tu, Kim's?

I was immediately fascinated by this unusual story of how the entire collection of over 55,000 rental titles from the deservedly famous Kim's Video store has been packed up and shipped to Salemi, a small town in Siciliy that is...

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Cold Comfort

And on the seventh day lukewarm water emerged from the tap of the kitchen sink for two minutes, making it slightly easier to wash the orange juice glasses. The flow of icy cold water then resumed to dash my faint...

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Don't Panic

I’m like a good galactic hitchhiker, roaming the city with my trusty guide and, more importantly, my towel. Why, you ask? Well, once again I’ve been forced to go without hot water all week, so I’ve taken to casting about...

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Highs and lows

Between Barack Obama's inauguration and my crush postponing what probably wasn't even going to be a date anyway, it's been a very emotional afternoon for me. Please send hugs....

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Magical mystery tub

Bathtub Originally uploaded by ultrasparky. I’m reading my way through a stack of old issues of Metropolis (my sister recently handed me all the back issues from my subscription that she received after I left the country in September...

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Girl, get me out of this

Note to self: Beg, borrow, or steal the capital required to move out of this frosty, ramshackle hellhole when lease expires, if not long before....

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Hard Knock Life

All this business with the being broke and the tepid heat and the total lack of hot water and the horrifying hallways and the sketchy bathroom seemed really cool and Bohemian when I was 26 and living in a cool...

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Ouch

Oh, that’s right. They call them "crushes" because they ache so damn much....

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Indeed

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No public transportation!

No one warned me that there's no public transportation over here on Christmas day. Once again, I’m forced to admit that for all the deserved complaints that you can make about the the MTA, they still run 24-7. Which means...

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Nuclear bomb

I was blindsided by an acute attack of puppy envy on the platform at Clapham Junction today. I got sort of smiley and weepy all at the same time when I saw this little cutie waiting next to me....

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Back in the real world

When I took off to study typeface design, I didn't really have any intention to become a typeface designer. I was looking forward to concentrating on something I really loved, living somewhere new, and taking a bit of a break...

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Liverpool!

Wow, why didn't anyone tell me that Liverpool is such a fantastic city? When I was forced to book an emergency appointment up here to get my visa renewed, I just assumed it would be some dreary fringe town: biggish,...

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Typejockeys

It's a real shame I don't know German, since I would love to read these this article and this interview about Typejockeys, Vienna's sassiest new type and design studio, coincidentally run by my good friend, former flatmate, and fellow MATD...

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Secret World Headquarters

Does anyone have 7 or 8 million bucks they could lend me? I’ve finally found the perfect spot for my secret underground lair: a mile of tunnels deep beneath the heart of London: that’s room for lots of plans for...

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Ginger snack

Well whadya know? It turns out that my favorite werewolf and dude who plays with action figures — pop-culture MVP Seth Green — actually can look even more delicious: This brief moment of tastiness made it somewhat easier to keep...

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Flight of the Monorch

Of interest. I suppose it's no surprise that Doc isn't on the list — not quite famous enough — but I really would have preferred someone less despicable than Hitler on the list....

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Mood for the day

I would like to have a nap and then a bit of casual nookie....

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SO not fair

I seem to be getting spider-bites here and there, but yet not a single sign of any super powers! Not even something comically useless or ironic! How fair is that? Maybe I need to flood my little apartment with experimental...

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Candy store

Most of my medical stuff happens at the sexual health clinic rather than a GP's office, so the vibe in the waiting room is always a little weird. In the town where I used to live, this meant there were...

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One more thing about Orton

You know, there are lots of other things that have been happening that might be better to write about (travel and work abroad! fetishwear spending sprees! the waxing and waning of various flirtations!) but all that stuff always takes so...

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My Aim Is True

So it wasn't my imagination. When I was stopping to take a quick leak on my way through Schiphol Airport yesterday morning, I spotted this little thing that looked like a fly in the urinal, except it clearly wasn't...

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Prick up your what now?

I’ve just finished the original book, and am now finally watching the filmed version of Prick Up Your Ears, the biography of playwright Joe Orton. I had a nagging sensation while reading the book that there was a lot...

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Put a sock in it

Did you ever want to sleep with someone not just because they were good-looking, but just because it would get them to shut the fuck up for a while and stop making you want to stick knitting needles in your...

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Growing pains

Now that I’m "back on the market" and "fresh meat" and assorted other euphemisms for single and generally prone to sluttiness, I’m discovering something new about myself. Or perhaps it's something new about how other guys respond to me. I...

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Agri-Aggro

Anyone who's ever done time in the suburbs should have a look at this sharp little essay from the New Yorker about the great American lawn, a totally artificial aspect of landscaping that’s turned into a bit of an...

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Thriving Office

I’m in the middle of moving to a quiet little attic ("loft" in the local parlance, but that’s just confusing to people back home who know that the lofts I used to live in meant something very different) in London....

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For the Queen of Meme

For Daft: (and because I can't fall asleep at the moment): Are you currently in a serious relationship? Nope. What was your dream growing up? To draw comics. Or fly. What talent do you wish you had? Drawing comics. Or...

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Oy.

It's a little humbling when a sappy, formulaic movie gets you to figure out something sad and stunningly obvious....

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Language barrier

I don't think I will ever live here long enough to be able to say "mate" in a way that sounds at all natural. It just doesn't come naturally in American English, like "pal" or "buddy". My reflex is to...

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Goodbye to the Cheyenne

Farewell, originally uploaded by Goggla. Well, looks like there's another reason not to bother going back to New York. My beloved Cheyenne Diner is finally closing down. I used to work down the street, and spent many, many happy...

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My Idol

For well over twenty years this man has been my hero. No lie. No exaggeration. It was John Waters and his affectionate fascination with with trash — and his own stylish, articulate, and eccentric way of blazing his own...

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21 Tarantulas, 5 Frogs, 1 Cobra, and more

My old pal Mark has been living in Cambodia for the last few months, having the kind of adventures that could make for yet another exhilarating chapter in his biography, should one ever be written. (Seriously. The man has survived...

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Oooooh, so many toys

I had to tear myself away before I got sucked in forever. Dan Rhatigan and some toys, Originally uploaded by fermello78....

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Danny Boy

Happy St. Patrick's Day from the Muppets (via Sean): I can't stop laughing once Beaker chimes in. It's perfect. As you might imagine, I have a bit of a love/hate relationship with Danny Boy, since it's effectively been my family...

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I’m not crazy!

It wasn't just my imagination — I really did feel the rumblings of an earthquake last night. I felt my laptop vibrating at first, but I quickly realized it wasn't just be the hard drive spinning when my entire bed...

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The Old Stomping Ground

Speaking of my high school, its Wikipedia entry led me to this video, filmed in the building, which still looks the same, apparently: That may be the merest bit of trivia to most of you, but I bet a few...

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Reaction Roulette

So it looks like my horrifying full-body case of the hives is an intense allergic reaction (My first real allergy! Huzzah!) to the new medication my doctor recommended, a reaction that kicked in just as the not-as-bad-as-everyone-said normal side effects...

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Status Report

Before too much more time passes, I suppose I ought to say something about my big trip back the America for Christmas and stuff. It was my first time back in over a year, and in the weeks leading...

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Third time's the charm

We got our grades this week and I’m very pleased to report that I’m getting an MA "with distinction", the British equivalent to summa cum laude honors. I guess all that hard work this year paid off. To be honest,...

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Will work for food

Things have gotten quiet here once again, but eagle-eyed visitors might notice that a tiny change in the links about that lead to a brand new section of the site: the Work section, my portfolio of design work. I’ve postponed...

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Temporary separation

People are always surprised to hear that I haven't been homesick all year. Although there are lots of things — and certainly lots of people — that I miss, I was really ready to leave the States, and in...

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Getting a little maudlin

We just had the first of the going-away parties, exactly a year after I got here. It's only starting to dawn on me that I’ve finished, and I suspect it will be a few more days before it hits me...

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I am so wasted!

It's sadly typical that I’m down here in Brighton staying in an awesome little hotel that boasts of being a rock-n-roll party spot, and I’m up in my room proofreading my dissertation about math while I nurse a raging headache...

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Whoops! Yay!

I just realized that I made plans to head down to Brighton for this year's ATypI conference on Thursday, not Wednesday like I’d thought. That means I get an extra day to work on my dissertation before the typogeekery and...

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Busy Bee

Progress on my dissertation has been an uphill battle against two very demanding design projects I’ve been plowing through at the same time. One, thankfully, is on its way to turning out very well after a few hiccups on press...

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The Single Hauz

A while back I wrote about my fondness for prefab teeny houses. I’m always on the lookout for new variations on the theme, and they seem especially appealing right now, as I’m running out of steam and feeling really desperate...

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The Matter of Anti-Matter

Oh, and in my free time time this year I designed a book, too. It's also my first design project to get its own MySpace page, since it's about indy music stuff and the music folks apparently use the MySpace...

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Surprise!

My pal Dave moans all the time about how dull and unoriginal he is. The truth is, he's amazing and always has been — even when I first met him 19 years ago, when he still had a mullet...

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Introducing Gina

Another deadline finished! We turned in our typeface files last week, and I just turned in the specimen booklet this morning. Next it's an essay on the development and production of the typefaces, and after that it's on to...

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Life Is a Journey

If you had told me when I was 16 that in twenty years I would be living in England and listening to a mix of Judas Priest, Shirley Bassey, random disco, and New Order while I drew thousands of letters...

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What, Me Worry?

Next Tuesday morning I turn in all the digital files for my typeface design, and then I spend the next two weeks writing up documentation about how the design developed and was produced. All that accounts for half my overall...

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Greek Relics

A week later, and I’ve finally had a chance to unpack from my trip to Θεσσαλονίκη. (I’m procrastinating on the typeface, naturally.) I brought back some lovely souvenirs to remind me of my Greek adventure: Candy is essential for keeping...

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Night Terrors

Ugh, the insomnia! I’m waiting to get drowsy again, after waking up at 3:30, instantly getting preoccupied with thoughts of optical sizes and fitting and class kerning (does any of that even make sense to normal people?) and the millions...

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A Dispiriting Venn Diagram

I’m off to Greece for a week to go to this conference and stress out about school surrounded by different scenery. As with all my trips this year, there's a significant perk: relief from the tyranny of English food!...

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I Love Charlie

My pal Charlie is cuter than he has a right to be and I am totally shameless when it comes to getting on his good side. Bribes work well. Especially pastrami....

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Still Life

Back in my art school days everyone in the visual arts program started out with two years of pretty rigorous, traditional instruction in drawing, painting, and sculpting from life. This was all about skill-building and exploring form and color, not...

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High Strung

A piping hot bath helps take the edge off things every now and then, but I think I need something like a six hour massage to work out years of accumulated tension. I might pass out part of the way...

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The Terrorists Have Finally Won

It's a sad day here on Ultrasparky: the latest onslaught of comment spam (I average hundreds a day!) has caused me to ban the word "blowjob" from any discourse in the comments. My sincerest apologies....

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If It's Friday This Must Be Belgium

OK, so in the last week I’ve been to lots of places — Hahn, Frankfurt, Oberhausen, Essen, Amsterdam, Haarlem, Bussum, Den Haag, Antwerp, and now finally Brussels. This was supposed to be a couple of days for me to...

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Smashing Time

There was a touch of crazy in the air this past weekend in London. The good kind, granted — the serendipitous kind that makes cities lots of fun. It just kept coming at me, though. I went in to meet...

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No Turning Back

I finally had to change the region encoding on my laptop's DVD player this weekend so that I could start watching the complete first season of The Bionic Woman, perhaps my all-time favorite show from childhood. (She was so...

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Travelog

I imagine there are about 10 people who still bother to read this, and that small handful of you probably just check in now and then in case I happen to post pictures of some interesting typeface or start talking...

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Death and...

I owe thousands of dollars in taxes! (This comes as no surprise.) I am owed thousands of dollars in overdue paychecks! (This also comes as no surprise.) I don't have what it takes to turn tricks for tax money! (Again,...

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Jeepers Creepers

I had pinkeye when I was a kid and got so annoyed with how my eyelids kept getting stuck together with gunk that I cut off all my eyelashes with a pair of scissors. Big scissors, if I recall....

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Box o' Crack

Dave knows me intimately well, as only one's best friend or deadliest foe truly can. Sometimes he can be both all in one, as shown by this care package he sent me. On the one hand, I melted with...

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The Weary Traveller

This is what morning looks like after getting back in the middle of the night from an action- and inscription-packed week in Rome and Florence. All in all, that was one class trip that beat the hell out of...

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First Blooms of Spring

Everywhere I’ve studied and everywhere I’ve taught have exposed me to the same phenomenon: at the first blush of Spring, there will be an explosion of delicious manflesh wandering about basking in the end of Winter and making it hard...

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The 20th Century Was So Colorful!

I was sorting some old files and found this picture from the early glory days of the Swanktuary, as my old apartment in Brooklyn came to be known. It's actually kind of difficult to look at (and no, I’m...

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Ultrasound

Wow, that was a bad idea. I posted a sample image of the typeface I’ve been working on, but I looked at it for a few seconds and realized it looks really, really shitty on screen. It's slowly — sloooooooooowly...

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Lunar Module

Sadly, I now know that a full lunar eclipse isn't quite as cool-looking as a solar eclipse. It has its mysterious charm, but it's not quite so dramatic. Also? Much less photogenic. But maybe the lunar eclipse really does have...

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Where in the World Is Tommy?

Jungle Tom Originally uploaded by thomasmaresca. While I’ve been settling into my sedentary (well, with occasional exceptions) expat life here in Reading, my ol' pal Tom has taken off for a more glamorous adventure in further flung corners of...

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Slip It In

Every now and then certain pieces of music will catch me unawares and hit me with an onslaught of memories that had been packed away for a while. Usually, the culprit will be a song that I had one of...

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Shamelessness

"Shamelessness" is a strange title for anything related to me. If anything defines my overall sense of self, it's a murky combination of shame, insecurity, self-consciousness, and regret. I may have a certain amount of confidence in my ability to...

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My Time of Night

Unlike Sky Masterson, I’m not much of a night owl. I am a big fan of cities, though, and my favorite time to see a city is the middle of the night. I like the play of shadow and artificial...

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Give the People What They Want

I suppose it's my own fault for shying away from more postings about hot gay sex, damning personal confessions, and other lurid adventures — with random pictures of hot guys swiped off the internet for additional incentive — but I...

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Lame-O Is My Game-O

I’d made a secret resolution to pick up the pace around here again, but it was a lot easier to keep when I was home alone for a week bored out of my skull. It's difficult to string together lucid...

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Last Night's Sleep

I was intrigued by a mention of this software called Dream Recorder, which monitors you while you sleep, trying to identify the best possible moment to wake you up so you record yourself describing your dream before you forget. It...

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Half-Off

I really like it over here. I mean, I like it a lot. Part of it is still the novelty and part of it is how much I like what I’m studying, but there's also a million little things and...

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Christmas Stories

Now that my Christmas-killing cold has settled down into a manageable case of congestion, I’m lucid enough to string a few sentences together without needing a nap to recover. I was waiting for a touch of cold to hit me....

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The Great Christmas Malady of Aught Six

OK, so that title is a tad melodramatic, but it's the perfect way to begin my annual "I hate Christmas" post. Traditionally, this is a rant about the escalating frustration with errands, crowds, and logistical hassles that overshadows my Christmas...

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Ten Plagues

I was awakened this morning by a completely insane hailstorm that had me worrying about the large windows with the non-safety glass in our flat. It was good to wake up, though, since I had to get into London to...

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If It's Kiki It Must Be Christmas

Now that I’ve been lucky enough to catch Kiki & Herb, it finally feels like Christmas. It was a fantastic show, naturally, but it was interesting to see how the crowd reacted to it. In some ways, it felt...

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Holiday Festivities

Fear not, true believers, I’m still here and still kicking. We've spent the last couple of weeks at school doing workshops in greek and Indic scripts, which involved an awful lot of work with a few impromptu social events throw...

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The First Frost

Miraculously, we've had a short string of lovely days, although the price we're paying for the brief respite from the rains is a sudden plummeting of the thermometer at night. The afternoons are crisp and lovely and autumnal and all...

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Nobody Told Me There'd Be Days Like This

So on the whole I’m loving things here, but do you notice a pattern in the weather forecast up there? I’m told there were a lot of drought conditions over the summer. Well, that’s sure as hell not a...

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More Party Evidence

Thankfully, Jasso has posted some more flattering photos from the Big Type Party in this Flickr set. I also learned yesterday that Allison, the sassy and charming wife of classmate Vernon, is actually the voice of Dee Dee from Dexter's...

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Fatty Fatty Two-by-Four

This curious image of my flatmate Rob and I (ignore the random Portuguese woman) from our recent trip to Lisbon (my pictures, Rob's pictures) illustrates a few important points: I will never have hair that is not completely tragic. I...

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School Belle

The first day of school is always stressful. New faces, new challenges, a new environment, and many questions about what will happen from this point forward. Naturally, I’m all nervous about whether or not I’ve pick a cute outfit to...

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Here, There, Everywhere

I’ve been on the move, obviously. I doubt I'll ever get the chance to say much about the last few days at home, but they were hectic, sad, and sweet to varying degrees. The big moving sale/party turned out to...

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Goodbye, Hello

Goodbye, Brooklyn... ...and hello, Reading! (I’m here, and safe, and tired, and so far very, very happy. More to come, naturally.)...

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Pink Slips

One of my final farewells will be at this month's WYSIWYG Talent Show next Wednesday night at the Bowery Poetry Club. (Yes, they've moved to Wednesday nights — make a note!) This month the blog kids will be talking...

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AWOL in NOLA

Elsewhere in the world, my good friend Mark has taken a few weeks to volunteer with Habitat for Humanity down in Louisiana, just outside New Orleans. He has been working on a demolition crew, clearing out the wreckage from...

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Every Minute Counts

Notable accomplishments of the last 2 days: I narrowly avoided having some small-town U-Haul dude sic the cops on me for hand-truck theft. (It was all just a comic misunderstanding.) I said goodbye to many relatives, telling them they may...

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Countdown

Ack! OMG! Freaking out! It's Friday and it's my birthday and I’m at work and I hate work and I leave the country (for a year? forever?) in exactly two weeks and I have to put everything I’m keeping in...

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Run, Buster, Run

My pal Mark broke my heart last night, telling me that Buster had just passed away. Buster was Mark's dog — his beautiful, lovable, extraordinary dog — who he adopted when we were living together in a vast, ramshackle loft...

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Another Reason to Love the Subway

It started with the smell. It wasn't the typical, easy-to-identify hobo stank, but more like someone suddenly released all their BO at once. You could see an awareness of the smell spread throughout the end of the subway car where...

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Wiped Out

Another year, another TypeCon. (that’s a good thing, by the way: TypeCon is always a highlight of the year for me. 'Cuz I’m a nerd.) I am deeply, deeply exhausted after 5 days of workshops on type design, presentations on...

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Wintry Mix

This weekend's big project turned out to be the sorting of all my winter-type stuff like blankets and sweaters and coats and whatnot. It started out innocently enough as a hunt for more goodies to sell on eBay, but before...

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Hot Child in the City

Walking into a subway station today is like walking into the mouth of hell. To put things into perspective, we're now in the middle of a heat emergency, but as I walked out onto the sidewalk this morning, the temperature...

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Recordkeeping

One of those nerdly things that makes me break out in a cold sweat from time to time is the extraordinary fragility of digital information. Now that just about every crucial piece of information in my life is stored as...

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Blue Review

Yes, the multicolored Crunchberries they sell these days are just as tasty as ever, but they also use all these blue and green dyes that turn your poo the most alarming, electric shades imaginable. Why don't they say that on...

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Farewell to the SparkyMobile

The latest offering in this Summer's big clearance sale is the rarely used SparkyMobile: I’ve been planning to have a big "Everything Must Go!" sale in September — and probably still will — but poverty is becoming a real issue...

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Next, Please

I got my student visa this morning, making my departure in September seem tht much more real. This also increases the potential disaster of losing my passport, which has been my only form on valid photo ID for the last...

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Bagel with Cream Cheese

I really love the battered concrete ceiling of my apartment, with its beams and patches and embedded pipes. I love its irregularities, and the different shapes made by its elements as they cross one another. I love having a...

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Spring in My Step

Random compliment of the day, given by random old dude I passed outside the post office this morning: "Yo, you got the coolest walk I know for a white guy!"...

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Sing, Sing, Sing

In case you recall my mention of the hyoooooooge architectural proposal book I co-designed with my friend Matt during an absurd marathon of 18-hour days back in March, this was it: (Image: Las Vegas Sands Corp. via European Pressphoto Agency)...

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Lovin' Rockets

For a while now I’ve been tracking down digital versions of the songs that used to be in my collection of mix tapes. I haven't had a working tape deck in years, so when I moved out of the Swanktuary...

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Writer's Block

I thought I really dodged a bullet when I found out that I didn't need to write essay for my application to grad school this year. They pretty much found out what they needed to know from e-mail exchanges, talking...

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Prom Trauma!

We've been kinda pokey about getting out all the details (let's just say your favorite all-blogger reading series is run by people whose lives are generally busy and stressful), but next Tuesday night is the long-anticipated Prom Trauma edition...

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The Teacher's Lament

So what kind of students don't bother to show up for their final exam — without even sending in an excuse? Students who get their asses failed, that’s what kind. Update: Also, if students show up an hour late —...

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Teen Dentist 2

My adored Teen Dentist has abandoned me. It's nothing I take personally. After all, we both knew he'd be graduating in early May and passing me on to another student. Now he's off to work in some hospital somewhere, and...

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Tin Anniversary

While sorting yet another batch of old photos this weekend, I realized that I’ve been back in New York for about ten years. Ten years! No wonder I’m dying for a change of pace. Ten years in a place...

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Face-Lift

I live on a pretty drab stretch of Atlantic Avenue, a bit of industrial wreckage slowly picking itself up despite the very unfriendly way the Long Island Railroad slices through the middle of the block. My side of the...

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The Way Back Machine

Check out the way I’m rocking the twin SE/30s in BU's graphic design computer lab, circa 1992: Those hard drives? 80 megabytes! Those screens? Grayscale. That scanner? Bitmap only. That printer? Well, it would probably still run today if you...

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Reading Is Fundamental

I’m trying to teach myself to read all over again. I can already handle all the big words, thank you, but I’m trying to improve my ability to retain facts instead of just overall tone and general concepts. Although I...

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Teeny Houses

Even though I know I’m a bit nomadic, from time to time I still entertain the fantasy of owning a home of my own someday. Of course, my vision of owning a home is a fusion of various thoughts...

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Subway Flashback

Wow. this photo of some guys riding the subway in the early 80s sends me hurtling right back to what it was like when I start commuting up to high school back in 1984. In retrospect, I guess I can...

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Let It All Hang Out

Where does the time go? Another one of those anxious e-mails from Mom reminded me that my posting has slacked off once again, and the question of whether or not I’m still alive has once more come up. Yes, I...

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Dental Detective

I’ve only been able to glean a few details about the private life of Teen Dentist, who's seen more of me lately than almost anyone else, but they all fascinate me: He likes Led Zeppelin more than he likes contemporary...

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And It's Official

I got the official word this morning that I have been accepted into that geek-o-luxe, type-alicious MATD program at the University of Reading (UK, not PA). Yeeeee-hah! As the program director pointed out in his e-mail, this was not a...

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Back from Beyond

I have half bag of Russell Stover pectin jelly beans (my bean of choice) in my bag right now, and they're calling to me the way hald a bag of horse calls to a junkie. I need those beans, man!...

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Kids These Days

Dear students, when you come to class totally stoned, I can totally smell it on you. (P.S., that means you sort of stink.) Look, maybe that’s all fun and good times when you're out on the town, but when it's...

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Main Mission

That image certainly makes the MATD studio look all swank and very, very Alpha-esque (another example), which only makes me feel more at home about the whole idea of going there. It may be a little less futuristic when...

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All Glamour, All the Time

It's hard to maintain my rep as a Grade-A sexy motherfucker without the photographic evidence to back it up, so let's just see what I got myself up to this past weekend......

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Future Living

While retelling the glamorous story of my visit to Moonbase Alpha recently, I remembered that I’d wanted to link to an even sexier recreation of life the Space: 1999 way. If you're like me, then living in the 21st century...

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Life Out There

Gawker, of all unlikely places, manages to articulate exactly the ambivalence I feel about New York City on most days in this post about the relative merits of life in New York versus life in the hinterlands, as exemplified by...

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Flash! Bang!

Apparently yesterday's snowstorm was accompanied by lightning, which sounds like a pretty incredible sight that I seem to have missed altogether. It could have been cool enough to make me forget my ovarall aversion to snowy weather. I was holed-up...

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I Could've Had a Degree!

Well golly, all this hand-wringing I’ve been doing over my quest for a master's degree for the last few years could've been avoided after all. It seems I could just get an MFA in graphic design online Look, they say...

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Words from the Unwise

Kids, if something breaks, just fix it. Don't toss it to the bottom of your endless to-do list, thinking it's not an emergency just because it still works fine and isn't causing any immediate inconvenience. Just fix that shit. Also,...

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Bleary-Eyed

It's my last night here in the UK, and I am definitely not going out in style. I spent the day checking out the type-design gang in Reading today, sitting in on some seminars which nearly fried my fragile brain...

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It's Fundamental

In better news, I’ve been offered a spot in the typeface design program I’ve been investigating. It was awfully nice to feel such giddiness and awe about all the work they're doing, and then have them say that my weird,...

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Got My Dander Up

I’ve been discovering these last two nights that I seem to have become allergic to cats once and for all. I’m used to feeling a certain sensitivity if a kitty gets too far up into my face, but staying in...

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Redaction

On second thought, you don't deserve to see that much of my self-contempt. If you don't think I deserve it, you'll only be horrified. If you think I deserve it, you won't believe it runs as deep as it does....

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Excerpt

I keep trying to write something chatty, but it keeps veering off-topic and turning into another variation of something I wrote this morning. Usually angrier. Since there's not much point in finding endless ways to get the same damn thing...

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Toys for Mutants

I’ve been griping about how I really didn't want anything for Christmas except a ride home from the airport. It turns out, though, there there is something I wanted much more, or would have if I had known about it...

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Kicking Off the New Year

Happy New Year! Or at least it goddamn better be. Since the thumpa thumpa coming through my apartment walls has resumed and I can no longer nap in peace, I thought it might be a good time to reflect on...

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Aggravation

This whole holiday season has been two steps back for every step forward— bits of happy loveliness liberally padded with amazing moments of aggravation and discomfort. Right now, all I really need (and what I desperately need) is to just...

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The Trannies Are on Strike?

Oh, you mean transit strike! That makes more sense. That explains why it took me three hours to get into Manhattan this morning, by way of the LIRR station in Jamaica, Queens. Yes, my personal odyssey of endless aggravation this...

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Sumthin' Jewy

'Tis the season when I start crabbing about how much I hate Christmas. It's True! I really hate Christmas. Actually, I tend to have a perfectly lovely time on the day itslef, being a big sap who appreciates the company...

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Golly, Ain't Brooklyn Glamorous?

Oh my god, I think I just threw up a little in my mouth. Via Gawker comes this revolting article about how gosh-darn warm, friendly, and civilized Brooklyn is. The whole essay is unctuous enough, but it really goes for...

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Yo, I Talk Good

Some kind words from my latest evaluation for the type class I teach: In his comments to students, Professor [that’s not really what I am, but it's what they call everyone who teaches] Rhatigan pointed out issues of scale, cropping,...

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Mix It Up and Do the Do

I was a teenage groupie. Which isn't so unusual, really. Music is one of the easiest ways to forge, or at least latch onto, an identity when you're young. (Or even when you're not so young). It's a way to...

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Geo Club

It's a shame that Brent Hartzinger's book Geography Club has been banned from some schools in Tacoma, WA, but the part of the story that caught my eye was this description of the book's premise: In the 2003 book, a...

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New Neighbors

It's finally time to put up curtains in the windows of my new pad. Up until now, I’ve been enjoying the luxury of facing a row of empty buildings across the street, so there was no worry about peeping neighbors....

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Achoo!

Without fail, the change of seasons brings on a nasty cold for me. Sometimes better, sometimes worse, but always following a change in the weather. This time around it came a little later than usual, but I think I was...

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Current Views

For my own benefit as well as for the lurid curiosity of anyone who still reads this, I like to document how I look as I get older, just so there's a record of the march of time. So here's...

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Friendly Neighborhood Wall-Crawlers

One of the things I really like about the Cracker Factory is the privacy. It's got thick concrete floors and brick walls (mostly), so I don't hear my neighbors (much — although the guy upstairs using the power saw at...

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Home Again

I’ve been feeling the strain of doing little more than working, moving, running errands, and carrying stuff around for over a month now, but at least things are finally settling down. I think. At any rate, the new digs are...

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Snafu You

It's time for me to start thinking about grad school applications again, since I still have a glimmer of hope that hasn't been crushed yet. (It's amazing how much mileage my morale got out of making it onto SVA's waiting...

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Life from Boston

Oh, by the way, I’m up in Boston attending the 2005 AIGA Design Conference and having a serious case of nostalgic head-trip from being in Boston again. (It's lovely, but I remember exactly why I moved away and never looked...

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Boulevard of Broken Dreams

Oh, Ikea — how many visions of domestic bliss have been nurtured along your twisty pathways lined with plastic, particle board, laminates, and veneers? And how many more have been mourned later on, when all those things are nothing but...

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Having Made My Bed...

Like a lot of posts hiding in my archives, this one will never have seen the front page of the site. It will have languished as a draft until I release it into the murky depths of the archives. That...

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Artistic Differences

Just to be clear, I ought to mention that I haven't been lazy — I’ve been taking a break. When I return to posting, which I expect will be within a couple more weeks or so, things are likely to...

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Filling in for Faustus #5

Originally posted to The Search for Love in Manhattan: Damn Faustus for cursing his guest hosts with a daily obligation! Having a theme, though, does make it easier to follow his draconian orders. In fact, I should consider subjecting myself...

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Filling in for Faustus #4

Originally posted to The Search for Love in Manhattan: Yikes, this has to be a quick one so I can sneak in under the wire before midnight. Faustus ordered us to post at least once a day while he was...

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Filling in for Faustus #3

Originally posted to The Search for Love in Manhattan: This is Sparky, your nurse practitioner in the doctor's absence: I know you think I Like it when you slap my ass. You are mistaken. Have you ever been fooling around...

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Filling in for Faustus #2

Originally posted to The Search for Love in Manhattan: This is Sparky, filling in for Faustus and working that gimmick: It's Dorian Gray In reverse: you aged and yet Your photo stayed young It's happened to most of us at...

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Filling in for Faustus #1

Originally posted to The Search for Love in Manhattan: Greetings, kids, this is Sparky, assuming control of the Faustus, M.D., Clinic for Neurotic Bloggers for the remainder of the good doctor's absence. When we authors ad interim were given our...

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Gone Fishin'

As a freelancer, I don't really have a summer vacation because I find myself doing lots of work when other people go on vacation. Which is lovely and profitable, if also a little bit of a logistical nightmare from time...

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Do You Believe?

"I do not believe in belief. But this is an age of faith, and there are so many militant creeds that, in self-defence, one has to formulate a creed of one's own. Tolerance, good temper and sympathy are no longer...

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Scent of a Man

It's hot and gross, and because I ran out of the house before showering this morning I found myself on the subway, hanging onto the rail, and horrified by the intensity of my own stank. If it had been a...

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Grape Crush

It's so, so painful to have a big crush on someone, especially when it's been so long since I’ve had one. There's a steady stream of cute boys that catch my eye, and there have even been a few where...

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Wallflower Armor

It's comforting to have a pretty serious camera again. Since effectively giving up film photography a few years ago (first by laziness, then officially when I accidentally sprayed WD-40 instead of air into my beloved Pentax K1000), I’ve been using...

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Note Consolidation

It occurs to me that I keep worrying about not buckling down and writing things here, when in fact I’m actually scribbling things down all the time. I just happen to be dumping all those little nuggets into e-mails instead...

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Apologies to All

A good friend's troubles inspired me to spend a chunk of the evening reading through old entries, especially the ones from around the time I had my spectacularly maudlin meltdown a few years ago. In a way, I was looking...

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Faustus on Parade

Now that our dear Faustus has come out of the closet — again — there seems to be no stopping the publicity juggernaut for his delightful new book, Gay Haiku (which you already know about, I’m sure). I just hope...

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Weddings and WYSIWYG

In all the hubbub of last weekend, I never actually got a chance to report on all the goings on. My absurdly slow recovery was put to the test not only by a rare visit from my pal PJ, but...

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Brushes with Fame

OK, so I finally got sucked into Lost about halfway through the season, and I’m getting all worked up as the season finale approaches. I was feeding the frenzy by reading through this post over at my favorite TV blog,...

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Seven Minutes in Heaven

I was a weenie and a wallflower as a youngster (and once again, I’ve come to realize), so I never got involved in all the typical party shenanigans that sex-crazed adolescents supposedly stumble into. But now I finally get my...

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Ouchies

The appendix may be an inconsequential little organ, but they sure do have to go through some useful stuff to get at it. You know, like the abs? Yeah, those muscles that you use a little bit every time you...

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All Stitched Up

Last week at this time, I was starting to shake off the anesthesia from the previous night's emergency surgery. I’d been waking up up every now and then since about 2 a.m., when I first had a few minutes of...

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Appendix A

...and the next thing I knew, I was on my way to the emergency room to see if I needed immediate surgery. Which I did. Had my appendix removed Wednesday night, and now I’m recuperating at my sister's house for...

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My Co-Stars

This photo from the red carpet at this year's Oscars captures two of my co-stars from my old high-school days. Eddie and I, as many of you know, have been friends for most of forever and some of our many...

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Title? Nah.

Looking out of the window and down into the street, she saw the rush-hour crowds beginning to move towards the bus-stops. Soon they began to take on a human look, to become separate individuals who might even be known to...

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The Scent of Clean

I’m not a big fan of rain, but I absolutely adore the smell in the air the comes right before the onset of a downpour in the warmer seasons. It's amazing how pervasive that particular becomes. I wish I could...

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Illegal Loft Living? Shocking!

The Times just ran an article about all the illegal lofts in East Williamsburg, especially those in the immediate area of my former residence, the Brooklyn Home for Wayward Bloggers. If you live (or have lived) in the area, you'll...

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Book Meme

Drub tapped me for another meme that’s been making the rounds. Since this is easier than figuring out what to write, and slightly meatier than just trotting out funny search terms, I'll comply with my instructions. You're stuck inside Fahrenheit...

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A Cookie Lurking Around Every Corner

Because I’m a sucker, I’m helping out the folks at my old job by going in a couple of days a week for the new few months to help them through a busy patch. (They begged, I was a pushover.)...

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Subway Smackdown

Better late than never, here is my piece from last Tuesday night's WYSIWYG Talent Show. This is transcribed from what I scribbled in my notebook at jury duty that day, so for the actual delivery you'll need to check the...

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What You Saw

Last night's WYSIWYG — and this is no surprise — was another whiz-bang fun-fest. It was an honor and a treat to share a stage with such eclectic, charismatic, insightful talent. I think last night's crowd also had the largest...

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Raining, Pouring, Etc.

I was already stressed out about the day ahead of me tomorrow. Hauling ass up to teach a class that’s been a bit of a challenge for me already, then having to finally write something to read at WYSIWYG (by...

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Kitty Brain Rot

In all honesty, my biggest beef about having a cat around the house is all the damn hair. And the weird whining and puking noises. Catch me in a good mood and I can even admit that, yes, he looks...

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Hello? Oscar?

Ho. Lee. Shit. I didn't get to the movies much this year, so I’ve paid even less attention to the Oscars hoopla than usual. The show is on, though, and I’m here on the couch doing some work, so some...

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Pass Me a Tissue

Day 13 of the cold that keeps kicking my ass and I’m pretty much out of patience. I keep getting false starts: days when my strength comes back, allowing me to dive in to all the work that’s been piling...

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The Day

Yeah, Valentine's Day is about as irritating a "holiday" as they come, but since the Rooster and I absentmindedly scheduled our first date for three years ago today, we're sort of stuck with it as an occasion. Not that we're...

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Clark, You Just Missed Superman

I’m having a lot of fun with Trusty Sidekicks, despite my general aversion to single-topic blogs. What I like about it is that it's a collaborative project, and that supports the community vibe that has kept me going all these...

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Customer Dissatisfaction

I have a bad cold and I’m crabby and groggy and all I want to do is lie slack-jawed on the couch and watch TV and wait for my will to live to return. Stupid, stupid, stupid Time-Warner Cable and...

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Cough, Cough

And let the annual Winter nasal drip commence! Pardon me — I need more tissues now. I may also sacrifice a goat or two to try and ward off any strep throat or other tonsil-related nastiness....

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Smoke, Screened

I finally noticed this morning that the front section of the big gay coffeehouse was the only smoking section, which probably explains why everyone who sat up there was such a smoking fiend. It dawned me as I looked aorund...

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After the Parties

Saturday morning in the gay coffeehouse is yet another change of pace. I’m waking myself up, nursing a hot cup of Earl Grey and still trying to finish my lesson plans, but just about everyone else here is winding down...

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It's Expat!

I’ve left the country! No, not for good. But Glenn had a free airline ticket up for grabs and I have no job, so I figured I’d take a brief retreat to Montreal for a few days — someplace cheap...

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Writing Blockhead

It kills me that I still have trouble articulating some of my basic thoughts after all this time spent yapping about one thing another on this site, in my the zines I used to do, in thousands of e-mails, and...

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Brush With Stardom

I brushed a New Kid's butt today. Well, not really, but I at least had an arm around his waist while posing for a picture, with a bit of a quick brush of the fingertips across the rump. When all...

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Overhead

The only really awful aspect of my current state of self-employment is that I currently pay for all my health insurance by myself. Until enough time passes that I can switch over to a discounted plan offered through one or...

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Holidays Pros and Cons

Our place is filled with the comforting smells of Christmas baking — a warm mix of butter, spice, chocolate, and sugar. As soon as the tree gets hauled in and set up in it's stand, a little fresh pine will...

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Parallel Universe

The problem with living in New York and knowing your way around the city is that it's totally maddening when you see movies or TV shows get it all wrong. It's almost like slander, at least to someone like me...

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Fatty Fatty 2-by-4

Enough people have commented on how much weight I’ve lost that I’m starting to wonder just how obscenely corpulent I had been. I know I ballooned a few waist sizes and have since returned to normal, but was it really...

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Madness Non-Stop

OMG, is it Wednesday already? The 20th? This is normally the point where I would apologize for being lazy or depressed or listless or something, but for over a week now I have been a machine, folks. I’ve barely taken...

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Wasted Opportunity

Missed Connection (unposted): Skinny, Dark-Featured Guy With Almost-Handlebar Mustache at Gay-IGA — You sat next to me in the first row, right in front of Randy Jones and just to the right of the deaf guy and his ASL interpreter....

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The Laughing Gnome

There is a dwarf that I have never met but who I occasionally have a reason to mention. The fact that this gentleman is a dwarf would ordinarily be just a point of clarification for visual reference, but he is...

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Tax Photographs

New York City has been so built up for so long that for all the development that goes on here, it's common to live in, work in, or visit buildings with a colorful history of use and reuse and reinvention...

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First Step to Freedom

I gave notice yesterday, so my servitude to the engineers ends in a few more weeks. Weeks full of nothing but writing documentation and offering polite, sympathetic gestures if people panic about my departure. Sweet freedom! I was stalling, but...

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Enlightenment

I was utterly dumbstruck yesterday when I read the following passage and realized that somehow Lance Arthur's therapist has managed to distill the entire experience of maintaining a weblog for so long, and through so many permutations, to its core...

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Expected Behavior

And if I quit, it certainly won't come as a shock: my boss has been assuming for a while now that I could disappear at the drop of a hat. It's obvious from almost every conversation we have that she...

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Shove It

I’ve been grappling with this problem in varying degrees for well over a year, but I knew I had to tough it out for a while. The problem became more acute this last Spring, but I had made a promise...

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Crack Whore

Over the years, my co-workers have learned that the best way to thank me for all my troubleshooting is to offer me candy. This is a lovely gesture, because I would still help them without it, and also because I...

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Rocking Out

Life, as you may have learned, is full of surprises. Last night, for example, I discovered that some old chums have secretly transformed into a really excellent band. Now, I’ve known for a while that they've been turning years of...

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The Graham Norton After Effects

There was flooding in the subway tunnels all over the place this morning, so the crowding on the few trains creeping their way through the mess was out of control. Everyone was wet, crabby, and pushy, and tempers were flaring...

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I’d Rather Swish Than Fight

My dear friend Lubin Odana (who is definitely not a Republican) was a more welcome surprise guest in our fair(y) city this week. Although I was only able to have one audience with Lubin and his gentleman companion, it was...

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Always the Bridesmaid

Looking for work feels an awful lot like looking for a boyfriend. You're always checking out new possibilities (trolling the internet, or asking friends about their friends) and daring to dream of how much more magical everyday life will be...

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Gimme Wood

Did you know that last Thursday was the fifth anniversary of this blog? I’ve been diddling with web sites for slightly longer, but my very first entry made with an automated posting tool. Blogging these days is so widespread, so...

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Propagandized

Fellow Jesuit survivor PJ is the one of the few non-Regians who totally understands and reciprocates my religion-based humor. He's been there, he knows. See proof in this e-mail exchange from this morning: PJ: [blah, blah, blah, job-hunting angst] Why...

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East From West

FYI, I’m back from the 12-day California mega-trip. I’m exhausted beyond belief, but happy. There's always a lot of processing to do after a long trip, so expect some stories, musings, and lots of photos to come trickling through over...

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Check-In

I’m in L.A. and having a lovely time hanging out with the Schmidts. Yesterday we went to a store that sells more types of soda than I knew existed (Cel Ray in a bottle! Mexcian Coke made with cane sugar!)...

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Gripe, Again

Status: Hating work more than ever. Too frustrated to function at all. Must escape. Fly! Be free! Sadly, there seems to be nowhere to go yet....

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I’m So Gay!

One day when I was walking through the cafeteria, I heard Mike Malone call me a faggot under his breath as I passed by his table. I handled this, as I always handled slurs like that, by laughing to myself...

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Stage Fright

As I finish up the piece I'll be reading at the next WYSIWYG Talent SHOW (it's this Tuesday at 7:00 don't miss it!) I’ve been trying to figure out of I have any stage fright waiting to burst forth and...

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Jailbreak

Is that a pretty place? I like to call it "The Soul Crusher," the place where I toil away each day, hating my life more and more all the time and dreaming of the best way to get out...

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Prime Physical Specimen

Comical health-related mishap of the day: I was propped up in bed reading some Barbara Pym with my left arm stretched behind my head. Suddenly I let out a violent sneeze, painfully wrenching my shoulder and entire upper back in...

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Missing Muse

If dragging my ass to and from work every day leaves me uninspired, then it should be no surprise that languishing on the couch in a feverish daze leaves me with even less to say. Well, aside from the obvious...

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I Remember the Good Ol' Days

It was quite a scene at the NY Bloggers event last night, what with the blogging and blog-curious hordes filling up the back of the Apple Store. (You can see me here hanging with Jeff and Matt.) Overall it was...

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Cold Comfort

I talked to the admissions office at Yale and it sounds like at least they got a correct transcript. The woman on the phone was starting to explain that transcripts aren't nearly as important to them as portfolios, and they...

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Adminstrative Snafu

Like a lot of big universities, Boston University has a nightmarish bureaucracy that digs its terrifying tendrils into just about every imaginable facet of life. When I went to school there, I was glad that the art program was tightly...

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In My Simple, Humble Neighborhoods

It's a hurry-and-wait, hurry-and-wait sorta day in my cubicle today, and list-making is an easy way to offer content without having to go off and actually have adventures to write about. Places I’ve Lived North Railroad Avenue (1970–1990): The house...

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Globetrotter

I just noticed that my passport is due for its first renewal next year, which got me thinking about the dents I’ve put in it over the years: England: I had to go for a last-minute work trip, so...

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The Real Résumé

I was so relieved the first time I had enough relevant experience in the career of my choice that I was able to strike from my résumé all the menial retail jobs I’d slaved at over the years. At this...

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Rocket Science Explained

I was in Orlando last week, but work has been too relentlessly overwhelming to get a chance to relate the tale. (There was off-duty time since I got back, yes, but that was usually spent sleeping like the dead or...

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Proactive

I’m being all mature about it and everything, but in my gut I still feel a little flip-flop and wince of pain when I see or read the word "Yale." (I can reveal the truth, now that there can be...

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So True!

I’m too overwhelemd by deadlines and emergency planning today to delight you with pithy ranting, so instead I'll share the most entertainingly high-brow birthday invitation I’ve ever received: I didn't ask to be born. Neither did Frankenstein. Nor Adam, for...

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Keeping My Goddamn Fingers Crossed

I’m even more despondent about the demise of Plan A than I expected I’d be, but at least the possibility of this makes me feel the teensiest bit better about Plan B. Assuming that doesn't also crash and burn....

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Sweet Memories

I’m still failing to resist the allure of the hearts, even though I'll be the first to admit that they don't taste all that good, they leave a nasty film on my teeth, and the corny sayings don't have any...

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Heartache

I made the tactical error of buying a bag of candy conversation hearts on my way to work this morning, because I’m festive kind of guy. Unfortunately, I’m also the kind of guy who has no self-restraint when candy is...

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Best.Sex.Ever.

So Worst. Sex. Ever. was a total hit last night. Way more, I think, than anyone involved thought it would possibly be. Chris was worried that she might not scrape together enough in ticket sales to pay for the lighting...

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Puppy Nostalgia

I treated myself to a second viewing of Les Triplettes de Belleville the other night. (I went with Jenny Lee, the comic-book editor and all around sass queen who I have such a nonsexual/friendy crush on its almost embarrassing, but...

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Big Chill

I generally don't bother to write much about weather because it's usually a deadly boring topic. Occasionally, though, the weather situation becomes so relentless that it's difficult to ignore the subject. When it's an endless, deep freeze like this, I...

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Baby's First Colonoscopy

Sunday night's Kiki & Herb Christmas show was, as always, a tremendous spiritual and emotional cartharsis. I cheered and hollered, I laughed, and I shared the experience with many old pals, reinforcing my recent vow to ease out of my...

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Done

Yesterday was a stunningly awful day that came hot on the heels of a week that wasn't awful but has been remarkably stressful. Yesterday was a combination of nagging stomach issues, stupid AT&T problems (FIVE hours on hold!), the ceiling...

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Soliciting Feedback

Working draft #2: I have always done my best work when I have been able to understand a problem or a task by engaging myself with the ideas underlying it, tinkering and exploring possibilities. The scope of a issue, the...

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Doctor's Visit

I’ve had a swell couple of days kicking about with Doctor Baker and his delightful husband, who breezed into town for a few days. By a wacky coincidence, NPR chose this weekend to broadcast a great interview recorded a few...

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Kiss My Morass

I can't decide if it's change or inertia that plagues me these days. Both, actually I guess it depends upon the topic. Yeah, I’m stuck in some unglamorous fog of low morale about work (don't even get me started...) and...

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The Injustice!

Aaaaargh! It's not fair! I placed my order within hours of their release last week, and they waited until tonight to push back delivery: Dear Valued Apple Customer, Due to an unexpected supply delay, we are unable to ship the...

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9/11/03

So it's the anniversary of that day again. Like last year, I’ve been avoiding the news because it makes me mad: I don't want to see the endless human-interest stories, I don't want to bask in the grief, I definitely...

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The Great Blackout of Aught-Three

The Great Blackout of Aught-Three, as experienced by me: Frankly, I enjoyed it. I have many blessings to count, I realize I live within a feasible walking distance from home, I was wearing comfortable shoes, the iPod was fully charged...

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Viva Atlantic City!

Lord have mercy, I just talked to Mark and found out what happened after I parted company with the guys at midnight in front of the Taj Mahal. Wow. Let's just say that when I was arriving home five...

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It's Not a Bug, It's a Sinister Feature

Hmmmmm, I’m beginning to comprehend how sinister Movable Type really can be. Ya see, back in Ye Olde Days of Blogger or Greymatter you would set the number of entries that would appear on the main page. With the dastardly...

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#928

This is my 928th blog entry (more or less there have been a number of guest writers, and I’ve deleted a few irrelevant technical announcements from former sites), having now combined into this one place all the posts ever made...

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How to Get Things Done

Whenever I’m down on myself about the way I procrastinate, I like to think about this brilliant story by Robert Benchley. It's funny 'cuz it's true, and a perfect model for how one can rationalize a dodgy work ethic. "A...

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Me Am Stoopit

Everything is hard today, and I mean that in the “Gee, Math is hard! Tee hee!” way, not the “Pull yourself up by your bootstraps and get on with it” kind of hard. I feel like a dim-witted stooooopid idiot...

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Unsettled

Things to say, apologies to make to many friends who have been neglected, many difficult things to admit about me treating myself like a precious little glass ornament that can't withstand any pressure. I can take it I just haven't...

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What Was It Like Before?

Trash Addict was reminiscing about his earliest online experiences, when the idea of communicating with strangers outside your usual sphere seemed so new and fascinating. Of course, it's still quite fascinating, but I bet you take it for granted as...

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Frigid Digits

The Swanktuary, while very swank, has never been known for its luxurious, comforting heat during the winter. Like many lofts, we have a big industrial heater in the corner — basically a gas range with a big turbine fan in...

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Overdue

With all the errands and the enormous to-do list, I haven't actually been getting out to socialize too much. Here are a few overdue shots from one of those wintry nights when I did drag myself out and have a...

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Bloggies Come Home

My studied nonchalance about the whole subject falls to pieces when I catch myself obsessively refreshing the Bloggies site to see if the nominations have been posted yet. I can only assume I’m setting myself up for terrible disappointment....

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Buy a Piece of Sparky!

Yo, if you're in the area this weekend and you've ever wanted to get your hands on any of the many treasures you've seen in the Swanktuary, then come on over and see what you can get:...

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The Internet Scares Me

Can I mention how scared I am by all the comments that keep on rolling in for this post? I suppose it's my own fault for uttering the three words of the post's title together all at once, but that...

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Tech Jargon

Nerdy rants for the day: On the Apple front, I’m pretty impressed overall with the new offerings. The new PowerBooks are obscenely magnificent, with their shiny, brushed-metal, slim down firepower. I still adore my iBook to pieces, but I’ve gotta...

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Farewell to the Swanktuary

The biggest change in my life right now is my imminent departure from the Swanktuary (formerly known as the Rumpus Room). Ah, my dear home: the only place I ever lived in longer was the house in Staten Island where...

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Small Talk Overload

I abhor small talk. I’m just not good at it, and it's a real effort for me to say the dumb things over and over again. "Oh, I’m doing great, thanks." "Yes, the food is great." "Yeah, it would be...

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Clarification

A point of clarification for anyone who read the last entry and got the wrong idea: I really enjoy spending time with my family, and I don't get to do it often enough. That doesn't mean that it's not a...

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Shirts, Guests

First off, check out the new shirts: And in the better-late-than-never category, a few snaps from the various Aaron-centric events of the last few days:...

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Customer Service

Satisfied customers are the best advertising, and the most flattering. Thanks, kids. By the way, if any of you local kids getting shirts are willing to show 'em off, Aron owes me some photography in exchange for his shirt, and...

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More Shirts!

Some new shirts to go around some requests, some up for grabs. I’m still taking orders......

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Get Yer Shirts!

After a long, idle weekend (which was just lovely, except for the slight guilt about being so idle), I finally got down to business the last couple of nights and started working on some of those t-shirts I mentioned a...

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Full Disclosure

I’ve confessed to a lot this year, unburdening myself of all kinds of secrets that I kept for one stupid reason or another. All in all, life has been better that way, and 'fessing up to my shortcomings has made...

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Fashion!

One of my latest ongoing projects has veered into the nebulous world of fashion, believe it or not. Fashion isn't much of a preoccupation of mine (which may be obvious if you see me in the flesh), but I think...

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Rain, Rain, Go Away

Zubby always swore that barometric pressure was the root of many day-to-day mood swings and discomforts, and I always scoffed. It sounded preposterous, and frankly I didn't trust the research credentials of his high-school science teacher. The older and...

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Time Keeps on Slipping, Slipping, Slipping

I need to find a way to stop sleeping altogether. I need those eight hours to be much more productive, or I’m never going to get a damn thing done. With an extra eight hours of usefulness during the day...

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Excuses, Excuses

I was hoping to liven things up today with some pictures taken with my sexy new camera, but I still haven't been able to retrieve the test shots lodged in its tiny memory. Dagnabbit! I knew that stupid Logitech decided...

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The Good, The Bad, The Unwatchable

Did you know that if you use NetFlix you can get a listing of every movie you've ever rented from them? Be careful, though: you may cringe to be reminded of all those duds you rented through the mail because...

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Satisfied Customer

I’ve been eagerly awaiting Jessie's summary of his visit a couple of weeks ago. He's finally posted the first part of a few, as well as a beautiful photo gallery of his time here. I don't think I’ve ever babbled...

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100 Things About Sparky

A meme makes for easy content. I admit it, and I often find it's a good way to babble on about some bit of nonsense when I’m not feeling particularly inspired. Plus, it also gives a nod toward community spirit....

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Qwe're Boys

I turned 32 yesterday, but instead of spending the day celebrating my birthday, I spent it celebrating New York City's expanded Human Rights Law at the Qwe're Music Fest with a couple hundred festive liberals from all over the gender...

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Double Dating with the Big Apple

I’ve been having a ball wandering all over town with special guest star Jessie, who's here on his very first visit to New York. I’ve been introducing him around to the gang, trying to show him a good assortment of...

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Child Hellfare

Usually when I visit a new city, I don't go out of my way to check out the big tourist destinations. I prefer to do things like wander the streets, browse the supermarkets, chat with people who live there. It's...

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Site Report

@!"#$%?&*()_+ I’m not swearing, I’m just looking for the keys I need. WHERE ARE THE DAMN ANGLE BRACKETS? God, I hate foreign keyboards. I suppose there'll be no fancy formatting in this entry. Ooops, did I mention I was out...

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Big Bang Theory

My sex life gets more theoretical by the day. In theory, it's on its way to becoming richer and more satisfying, but the stark reality is that’s been a while since I’ve gotten laid and this kid is getting frustrated....

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Clean-Up

Being a nerd visiting nerds (sorry guys, but you know it's true and you know I say it with love), I impose myself upon my hosts in totally different ways than when I visit family or less-wired friends. I don't...

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Where in the World Is Carmen Miranda?

Where in the World Is Carmen Miranda? (Yeah, it's a stupid name, but it came about in a stupid way and it stuck. Sue me.) Okay, so I'll be coming and going hither and yon for the next few weeks,...

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Hideous Mutant Freak?

I’m becoming better friends with my body. (This isn't about masturbation, so there's no need to get grossed out and stop reading.) What I mean is that I’ve been getting over this bad attitude I’ve always had about my...

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Polkatharsis

Yesterday morning I was largely a basket case, due to the unearthing of some mounting frustrations that I had been trying to articulate in a very overwrought e-mail, but the worst of it had passed by the time I forced...

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Cry-Baby

Working in a huge office sucks. There's nowhere to go and really hide when you can't stop bawling your eyes out. If this is how I’m starting the day, it's gonna be really ugly when I go for my inconvenient...

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Excerpt

OK, here's a bit from an unfinished rant: I’ve had plenty of casual dating and sex, and I think it can be a whole lot of fun if you're in the right frame of mind to just enjoy the ride...

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Citations

I have a number of things bubbling around in my overactive brain, but I haven't quite pulled them together enough to say much about any of them. So in lieu of snappy, original content, I’m just going to let a...

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Winding Up

A quote I stumbled across that talks about the leap of faith in my desires that I’ve been trying to make lately: Curiosity can bring guts out of hiding at times, maybe even get them going. But curiosity usually evaporates....

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Bowie-Vision

You MUST get yourselves to the Museum of Television and Radio to catch their five-part Bowie retrospective, David Bowie, Sound + Vision. A-freakin'-mazing. The first part, which runs until July 7, includes TV clips and short promo movies (they weren't...

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Holding Out

I haven't had sex with anyone in a couple of months now. Frankly, I haven't been very eager to. After a three-year period of really getting to know my inner slut and having lots of kinds of sex with lots...

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Kiwi in the House

No need to fret, kids: the globe-trotting Mr. Pannett has arrived safe and sound in New York Fucking City, and we've brought him back to his luxurious accomodations here at The Swanktuary in Brooklyn. Ever the considerate guest, he even...

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Look at Me, I’m Sandra Dee

"I’m so tired of being good." So laments poor Allison in John Waters' Cry-Baby, the story of a repressed good girl who yearns for the fast life in the arms of a hot, hot juvenile delinquent with a sensitive...

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Metaphor Time Again

Astronomers don't expect to really see some of the things they look for. Instead, they have to reach conclusions from indirect observation to find things like distant planets or dark matter. They have to observe visible objects like stars and...

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The Bottled-Up City of Candor

It was a big decision for me to be candid here on the site about what's been happening to me lately. But considering that a lot of my struggles are about being afraid to admit to weakness or vulnerability, I...

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102 Minutes

Almost nine months later, and a detailed story about September 11 will still make me teary and sick to my stomach. "102 Minutes" is an excellent Times feature that tells stories of what went on inside the towers the morning...

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Filtration Vexation

Lately I’ve been thinking about how people filter the information that bombards them. I’m not talking just about the usual media suspects — TV, radio, Internet, movies, newspapers, and such — but all the little tidbits of info we take...

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Up Again

It's getting the point where waking up in the middle of the night pretty much means there'll be no getting back to sleep. No matter how tired I may be, no matter how groggy I feel, the sleep just doesn't...

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More Whining, But Not From Me

I’ve been astoundingly sensitive to noise lately. Maybe it's just my body's way of trying to avoid additional stimulus. Whatever. It's a pain, that’s all I know. For instance, right now the ventilator by my desk is emitting a whining...

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And From the Department of Rude Surprises

Just so I don't have to repeat the news too often when I’m in no condition to do so: I’m still having panic attacks, I still love him but he's decided that he can only be my friend, I just...

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Fancypants Literary Moment

Two quotes from Confessions of a Mask by Yukio Mishima. Both manage to nail down things I’ve been trying to properly articulate for years: I do not mean that I viewed those desires of mine that deviated from accepted standards...

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WTC Once Again

A report on the World Trade Center collapse is summarized in the New York Times today, filled with investigators. conclusions about what exactly caused the towers to come down. The article itself is fascinating, and clear enough for the layperson...

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My Record Speak for Itself

The dear Mr. Pannett has been trying to convince me this morning that I have no reason to hate The Day That Dare Not Speak Its Name in My Presence. He's misguided, but sweet:...

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Hot Naked Boys

This morning's drawing class was a total scene. I don't know why there were suddenly three times as many people there as usual, but I suspect that somehow word got out that we were gonna be having a hot, flirty...

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The Hardest Working Man in Show Business

Now that I’m back in the freelance loop, the work from Thirteen is turning from a trickle to a flood. This isn't so bad, since it means some extra cash and a chance to do some things that exercise the...

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Great Moments in Sparky History?

Why should you win me a Bloggie? because I produce, baby! (I also put out, but that’s a different story altogether. I’m not hinting, though.) Here are some highlights from the past year, just in case you need evidence: My...

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Insult to Injury

Ah, 2001 — my old nemesis — you had to have the final say, eh? You had to reach one last snaky tendril out into the new year, just when I thought I was safe. One last slight, one to...

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Road Trip Fever

I’d hate to squander this fun conversation with my pal Beau: RhageRN: Hmm...I’m trying to win the road-trip Pontiac contest. Interested in a road-trip to visit favorite bloggers across the country? UltraSparky: Oh hell yeah! UltraSparky: It'd be a Blog...

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Ka-Boom!

Every year, the holiday season goes off like an atom bomb in the middle of my loose mental schedule of things to do and people to see. Catching a bug right in the middle this time certainly didn't help much....

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Magazine Whore

Finally, an explanation for the cryptic, snarky e-mails I’ve been getting from random people I know the last couple of days. I discovered that a personal ad of mine that’s been floating around Nerve for a while was inexplicably picked...

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Getting Back to Normal

After a day of slowly replenishing my electrolytes, I’m ready to head further back into the world of solid foods. Maybe today I'll get some rice cakes to supplement the banana that I ate last night! Still, I managed to...

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Happy Goddamn New Year

For the most part, 2001 sucked — really sucked. There were plenty of wonderful moments and scores of wonderful people around, but it was also the worst year of my life, without compare. Death, disease, destruction of a massive scale...

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Merry Goddamn Christmas

Okay, time to shut down the factory for a few days and go dispense goodies to the siblings and nieces and nephews and what have you. Smell ya later!...

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The Martha Stewart of Hipster Brooklyn

All that paper has just been a side project, of course — a little experiment that went well, the makings for a few small, gorgeous presents. The real effort this week has been hand-binding books to give away to the...

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Artisitic Inclinations

I was flipping through some old work, relics from my undergraduate days, and was reminded that I once had some clue what I was doing. I’m rusty, heaven knows. Ya think maybe it's time for me to get some more...

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Hi-Fashion Model

The realy cold weather will be here soon, which means that the gas bills for the large, drafty money pit that is the Rumpus Room will go up by about 200 clams a month. Hoping to set aside a little...

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Bah Humbug

As if there wasn't enough to hate about the Christmas season, yesterday was the dreaded company holiday party. Since I am once again a full-time employee here, I wasn't able to squeasle my way out of it the way I...

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Two Things

There are two things I don't like to talk about that keep bubbling up in my mind. Both are open secrets of a sort: one a detail that lots of people know and keep to themsleves on my behalf, one...

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Christmas in the City

Christmas just isn't one of my favorite holidays. As far as I’m concerned, it's all just errands and hassle and financial problems. Still, having been raised in a predominantly Christian western tradition, the social pressure to celebrate ChrismaChanuKwanza is there,...

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Powers of Perception

As a general rule, the more I’m into someone, the less I think it could possibly be mutual. I know I’m funny smart and interesting and even halfway decent-looking, but when I’m really attracted to someone, I just assume I’m...

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Sick and Tired

I didn't feel like linking and thinking, because I think about things a minimum of two times a day, and generally much more. Frankly, all the linking has been making me feel much worse, and not a bit better. The...

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Alpha Male

If you know me, than you probably know that I’m a big fan of science fiction. Why hide my spots, right? I make an effort, though, not to impose my enthusiasm on those who don't share it. It just invites...

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Boy Story

One of my social calls in London was Alex, an awfully sexy, sweet Brazilian guy I met when he was in New York this past summer. That time, we zeroed in on each other at the Lure and wound up...

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Back at Last!

Hell of a trip, except for the plane ride itself. I’m very sad to have left all my pals in England, but very happy to be back. Very sad to be going to work in a few hours, very happy...

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Oxygen Deprivation

I don't know exactly why, but I’ve been having a hell of a time getting going in the mornings. I doubt it's still jet lag. It could be run-of-the-mill fatigue from the long days darting about town, and then getting...

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One-Balled Wonder

Choire, this one's for you, baby: Beau, I'll see your orchiopexy and raise you one testicular torsion. Yes kids, when I was a mere lad of thirteen I found myself with sudden, excruciating pain in my abdomen and scrotum. After...

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Hot Sauna Action

Once I get back, remind me to tell you more about the Victorian-era Turkish bath Paul took me to today. It was in Carlisle, a little village just south of Scotland. Presumably some Americans have been to the area to...

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Quick Notes

A few quick items before I forget: I’ve had my fill of squeezing into single beds for the time being. For the rest of the trip, I’m going to remind myself that I’m on vacation and my comfort and convenience...

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Merry Ol'

I’m fucking exhausted, but at least I’m here, relatively safe and sound. What an ordeal it's been so far! After two weeks of barely sleeping, I took a catnap after work on Friday, only to have a half-hour barrage of...

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Losing My Touch

You people are not getting your money's worth from me. I was just looking through my oldest entries from this site, and I realized that I have totally given in to pointless, banal chatter. Hell, it's not even funny anymore...

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Sayonara to my Social Life

I’m furiously knocking wood as I say this, but I’m sure glad that in the current economic climate I have work up to my eyeballs. Especially now that I’m employed full-time as a nerd again, I usually find myself turning...

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Less Pudding, More Proof

Just in case you think that I’ve abandoned the controversial GutWatch initiative, I offer some proof of what can happen after a month of more regular exercise and significantly less snacking. Nothing earth-shattering, but I'll use my two weeks of...

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A Nod of Appreciation

Despite all my whining about boys, sometimes they can really come through in a pinch. Earlier today, someone who really rocks the house made me feel a lot better about something pretty big that was troubling me immensely. I think...

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No One Is Innocent, But I’m No Squealer

I finally decided to admit that the old slogan at the left, "Names will not be changed, because no one is innocent" was something of a crock, so I decided to remove it. Sure, no one is innocent, and I...

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Whoops! I Did It Again

I’m beginning to realize that in all the fuss with the disaster and stuff last month, I pretty much forgot to pay most of my bills. What I need to figure out now is where all that money went. Why...

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Up and Around

I live, mostly. I dragged myself to work Friday, and managed to make it through the day without passing out. I managed to make it to Northside to have lunch with Tin Man, but the stroll we took wore me...

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Health Watch

Day 5 of the World's Worst Cold and I’m still getting woozy every time I stand up. Worst of all, I’ve been housebound long enough now to be bored out of my skull. I’ve already watched the entire season of...

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Groggy

There was a time when I was much more of a delicate hothouse flower, catching colds and strep throat or anything else if someone so much as looked at me cross-eyed. An overall improvement in my general well-being during the...

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Coming Out Again and Again

In the spirit of National Coming Out Day, I would just like to confirm all your little suspicions: Yes, I am a big homo. Ladies, I’m sorry to disappoint, but it's true. I like to give it and take it...

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Random Shallowness

My hair has achieved optimum length again — short enough to avoid being a problem, long enough to achieve the tossled scruffiness I prefer. This means I’m about halfway between cuts, and that there's no way I will have a...

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Fatty, Fatty Two-by-Four

I was going to follow Jessie's lead and use public humiliation to motivate myself and get back down to my "fighting weight," but luckily my camera's batteries gave out this morning as I was getting ready to document the horror....

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SF Wrap-Up

San Franciso, yeah. All in all, it's been a pretty swell trip. I didn't get to do that much except do nerdy conference stuff and have food and drink with an assortment of old and new pals, but that’s not...

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Ready for My Close-Up

I am a freak, and here is the evidence. I am feeling really tired this week. Lots of information to take in at the show, lots of people to see, and not nearly enough time to be the social butterfly...

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S.F. Update

Just so you know, I got to San Francisco safely and I’m having a lovely time so far. JFK airport was freaky — emptier than I could have imagined it, but not a hassle at all. The flight attendants for...

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Flight!

Not that I’m itching to get out of town or anything right now, but it looks like work is letting me go to San Francisco after all. I’m doing nerdy conference stuff during the weekdays, but I get in next...

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Back, Still Bewildered

Pardon my absence, but I took a total break from digital life this weekend, aside from scanning some weblogs for distraction now and then. I didn't have the energy to put words and thoughts together to post or send e-mails...

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There's No Normal

It's horrible being back at work today. It's a complete farce. My boss is telling me that we really ought to be getting back to our duties, but it's ridiculous. I’m so agitated I feel sick to my stomach. It's...

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And Now a Word from Someone Else

I just got this story written by a friend of the family who still lives on Staten Island: I just returned from an unforgettable trip to Manhattan to help with the wounded. The ferry ride which was once a beautiful...

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Helping Out

Yesterday was very frustrating, being on the other side of the river. The day before, it was a relief to get out of Manhattan and back to the comparative safety and stability of Brooklyn. Yesterday, I felt ineffectual. Riding around...

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Views from Brooklyn Heights

I had to get out of the house today, get away from the TV and see something with my own eyes again. I took my bike down to Brooklyn Heights so I could see the view from the Promenade that...

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News from Abroad

It's fascinating to get first-hand accounts of how people abroad are reacting. Mark has been either shellshocked or weepy over in Italy, and people there have been coming up and just giving him hugs when they realize he's American. They...

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Later That Night

My DSL is gone for now, so I have to use crappy AOL dial-up. That is, when I can actually get a phone signal. Phone service goes in and out, and I haven't been able to make any long-distance calls...

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The Trip Home

Of course, this was the ONE DAY that I left my camera at home. The site of the Towers from the street and from work was fiction, surrealism, completely impossible to really accept. If you've ever been to New York,...

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The Long Trek

Bridges are open to pedestrian traffic, so I’m going to walk up to the 59th St. Bridge and head home. It's going to be an absolute mess down there. We're going to look like villages full of war refugees with...

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Ongoing Attack Thoughts

So part of the Pentagon collapsed from the explosion there, and there's a hijacked jet out of Pittsburgh that’s in the air. Is the Air Force going to have to shoot down an American plane filled with civilians? It's completely...

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More Attack!

So I guess the Sears Tower is actually OK, but the Washington Mall is on fire and there have been explosions at the State Department and Capital Hill. Oh yeah, and there was another explosion at World Trade Center 2...

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Attack, Part Three

And now the fucking Sears Tower in Chicago. Wow....

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Attack, Part Two

Jesus, they crashed a plane into the Pentagon, too. This is basically putting the entire country on alert. There's no long distance phone service right now, all the websites with news seem to be shut down, and people are officially...

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Attack!

I heard some guy on the street telling a cop that he just saw a plane hit the World Trade Center. He didn't look like a crank, but the cops seemed as dumbfounded as I was confused about why they...

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Birthday Wrap-Up

OK, so the birthday shindig was pretty great. We took over the outside patio of this nifty place in Williamsburg, and lots of the gang showed up, and I had a lot of fun and basked in a lot of...

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Over the Hill

It's very fitting that on my last day of being 30, I notice that grey hairs have finally appeared among the whiskers on my chinny chin chin....

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Bootylicious?

Poor Beau — apparently life in the country has driven him crazy, and he's become delusional. Today he writes me and says, "Can you explain to me why everyone I talk to, both in the Blog and outside in the...

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Unexpected Nostalgia Overload

What with all the hubbub about Ghost World, Tom and I were talking about these postcards we got from Dan Clowes back when we were winsome young lads of 17. I knew that I still had the card tucked away...

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How come my heart keeps breaking?

This is just another example of why I like P.J. so much and think he's so damn talented. I don't think I could add much more to a wonderful thought like this "If being gay is only about fucking, how...

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Autocontent

Why do I feel like we're all filling out someone's slam book? Oh wait, because we're basically doing the fin de siècle version of that. We really are just 14-year-old girls at heart: I have: work that I should be...

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Radiohead Wrap-Up

Well, those kids sure do love their Radiohead. Overall I might have thought it was an incredible show since they did put on an amazing performance, but I have to admit that I was a little out of it. For...

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Art Chantry Saved My Life

As I mentioned, I got a piece of unsolicited e-mail yesterday from my idol, a Seattle-based designer named Art Chantry. He was doing a Google seach and ran across this old journal entry of mine where I mention that he...

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The Idol Speaks!

I just received an unsolicited e-mail from my idol. I’m stunned....

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Butt Shot

While I’m on the subject of booty calls, I figured it was about time I scanned in my contribution to the butt meme. A cop-out, maybe, but at least it's consistent with the site design, right?...

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Scorecard

A quick review: Total bloggers met in person: 41 (as far as I know) During previous two weeks: 18 It's a festival! This weekend has seen yet another lightning round of Blogmeets, with guest appearances by Bill, Ron, and more...

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Gay Bar Syndrome

The amazing thing about gay bars, at least for me, is that I somehow feel self-conscious and invisible all at the same time. A brilliant combo, which does nothing but encourage my tendency to fidget (and I’m not much of...

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Insane in the Membrane

My mind is an odd place these days, at least it feels that way. A lot has changed in the last few months — things within me, things around me — and I have this sense that I haven't quite...

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NYC Glamour HQ

The past few days have been a mad rush of activity, a whirlwind of glamour more suited to an episode of Sex and the City. You can read the cross-referenced accounts of Ralph, Charlie, or Chad for some of the...

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As Featured in the New York Times

A little bit of spotlight is shining into my basement this morning, thanks to this article about my pad on nytoday.com, an offshoot of the New York Times site. The article itself is a bit weird: It's loaded with little...

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Another Friday Night

When you live in a great big open room, it's very easy to feel very small and alone when you go to sleep at night wishing there were someone to curl around you, to shrink the space around you down...

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Porque soy el Ultra-Funk!

Since experiencing the magic of the Venezuelan Party People, Dave has been answering "why?" questions with "Porque soy el Ultra-Funk!" Apparently, colleagues' reactions are leading him to think this is only funny in his own head. I think his colleagues...

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Terrified of the Heartland

I am such a city kid. Really, I’m just beyond hope. I’ve always lived in big cities: I grew up in New York Fuckin' City, and spent eight years in Boston, which seemed like a charming hamlet by comparison, but...

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I’m a Loser, Baby

I generally steer clear of dumb online personality tests, but at least I got a result I like this time:Sparky, your inner rock star is Beck Yeah baby, the rock star part of you is all Beck. Women [sic] are...

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A Flight of Fancy

Just pretend that you're reading something I’ve written that is charming and insightful, perhaps with a wry or slightly self-depracating spin. Pretend the language is proper English punctuated by a few bits of the vernacular to make it light-hearted, just...

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Busy Butch Bee

Thanks to a rare burst of good spirits coaxed out of me by an evening with the gents, I spent the weekend doing what therapy-phobic freaks like me do with excess bad energy: major home improvement projects! Yessirree, rather than...

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Rumpus Room Studios

Contrary to what you may read on the Internet, my building will not be the site of the next Real World. Although that would be a pretty good scam for getting my building wired properly....

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Subway Scoping

Riding the subway has a way of screwing up normal boundaries. See, there's this really sexy guy I usually see on the L train in the mornings — blond crew cut, pale blue eyes little chin strap beard, thin and...

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Eulogy

I found out this morning that a very dear friend died yesterday. Although Gina had been having an ugly, all-out battle with breast cancer for the last two years, and knew her days were running out, I don't think she...

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Bridge and Tunnel Baby

I’m going to have to make sure that Beau understands something about the East River: it is not an invisible shield wall that protects Brooklyn and Manhattan from one another. It's just some dirty water. And even though I am...

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Morning Wood

One of the nicer perks of my ongoing eBay auctions is that I’m paying enough attention to other auctions now to hunt down old type, one of the few things I actually collect. (The rest is just the accumulation...

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Dragging My Ass

You know, for all the weeping and whining, I know that a lot of the lethargy and the mopeyness of the last couple of months is just part of my little natural rhythm. I get depressed by the end of...

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Sifting, Sifting

My infamous self-control of my temper is serving me well right now, but I’m really giving it a run for its money. I’m so tense, so wound-up, that I feel like I can't get to the big reaction that’s welling...

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The Secret Shame of the Art Student

Vermeer seems to be making the rounds this week, which brought back a kooky memory of the time I had a painting of mine hang in the Metropolitan Museum of Art. (I will forever have stuck in my head the...

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When It Rains It Pours

I finally told my depression to go fuck itself and went back out into the world this weekend, and what did I find? New friends, friendly old flings, ex-quasi-boyfriends, former Regians turned fellow Brooklyn homos, new pals with blogs, sexy...

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Paris Wrap-Up

I’d like to write some kind of insightful wrap-up of my first trip to Paris, but frankly there's no point. It was beautiful despite some grey weather, fascinating but occasionally cliche, elegant and base. It was really just a tourist...

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Bon Jour!

Notes from France: French keyboards are absolutely maddening. This is my excuse for any subsequent typos. When I first got here, I had to wander through a planeload of French Marines also arriving at the airport. Deeeeeeeeee-licious. What may be...

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Vere Are Your Paperz?

In honor of my upcoming trip, and because I’ve been getting a kick out of the latest meme, I'll also contribute this little goodie. Note, I am not the young German student of philosophy shown in the photograph. And I...

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They Went and Done It

In the midst of my incessant committee meetings about this aggravating eviction issue — which is becoming an endless, tedious pain in the butt — I’ve still managed to maintain some semblance of the whirlwind pace of my normal life....

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Paul Soup

I had the pleasure of another perfectly lovely visit from my idol Paul Baker today, as always a big, charming, pile of fun and a reminder that all the good ones are taken. since the dreaded snow was at it...

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Old Models

Even in these modern times, some things haven't necessarily changed that much. Jessie (who's way too cute for his own good, even when grumpy) neatly sums up a pet peeve that I also have with my family. Even though they...

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I Still Hate Christmas

Hey, whaddya know? it's Christmas Eve and I still hate Christmas. If you've been reading any of my incessant bitching and moaning you'll know that this hasn't been the cheeriest Christmas season around here, but I’d probably still hate Christmas...

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Domestic Disturbance

How much god-damned shittiness am I supposed to put up with in one month? I apologize if that’s not the most articulate, informative way to express the extreme aggravation, frustration, loneliness, disappointment, and despair that have been swirling around these...

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Hemmin', Hawin', and Hair

So not only did last night make it painfully obvious that the current boy just wants to be friends (and I’m net even sure of that much), but I also lost my cell phone during one of the cab rides....

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Recovering, Thanks

My sister is about a million times better than when I saw her last week. she's still in rough shape, objectively speaking, but she's lucid and talking and lookin forward to getting up out of bed once in a while,...

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Duh...Uhhh...Wha?

I was totally unequipped to commute this morning. I’m tired, I’m worn out from the stress and the cold I’ve had for weeks, I’ve had all kinds of stupid and serious stuff on my mind, and this morning I reacted...

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Haunted House

I’m working today at ASME's not-so-elegantly appointed offices on the 20th floor of a midtown skyscraper. It's got a really eerie haunted-house vibe going on today. The wind is blowing like crazy outside, and the facade of this building has...

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Insecure Freak

God, I can be such an insecure freak sometimes. This isn't helped by my occasional inability to make sense of a situation when I like a guy. Usually, it's no problem for me to figure out the who-likes-who dynamics of...

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Post-Op

If you've ever seen someone you loved after a 12-hour surgery, then you know that even if all went well it's a shocking, horrifying sight. The human body can withstand a lot, apparently, but 12 hours of anesthesia, incisions, clamping,...

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Soapbox

I’m not participating in A Day Without Weblogs. This is not because I don't think AIDS awareness is important, or because I think it's a hollow gesture to remove your weblog for a day. On the contrary, I think any...

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Wacky Coincidence

This is certainly the week for odd coincidences. After reading Chad's excellent series of early crush stories, I began thinking about the hopeless crushes I had on boys in the past, particularly back in my college years. There were a...

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Touching Base

The holiday weekend was just swell, if a bit exhausting. sadly, that’s usually how get-togethers are when you're from a big family. Even with the abbreviated crowd we had this year at my sister Ellen's, there were still enough errands...

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Bella Italia

I’ve started sorting through my pictures from Italy, but I’m undecided about whether a lot of the pictures are interesting because of the images themselves, or because they're making me fondly recall interesting experiences. I don't want to put up...

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Sorta Second Dates

Twice in the last week I have run into (ahem) cute, smart, attractive guys with whom I hit it off like gangbusters. With each one, we realized at some point while hanging out that we have had completely tawdry, anonymous...

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Consumer Lust

Is it possible to have a crush on a store? I think yes. The object of my affection, and many others' it seems, is the latest swedish sensation hitting us by storm, the wonderful H&M. I get a thrill every...

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Strikeforce Moritori

Well, I’m back from vacation and the shit has hit the fan again. No, my apartment didn't flood while I was away like I was warned it might. (But there is an open pipe spilling sewage water into a catch...

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Switching Continents

6:07 a.m., Belgium time, somewhere over the Atlantic. The flight's a little crowded, but it ain't so bad. I can't bring myself to watch anything else on the teeny-tiny video screen, but luckily one of the music programs is a...

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Kicked Around the Continent

Friday? 2:45 p.m. Thanks to a slightly overbooked flight, I’ve been rerouted and am now enjoying a sunny little layover in the Cote d'Azur. An unexpected stop in France makes for a nice notch in the bedpost, so to speak,...

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Cubicle Creep

Please save me from Kenny G. And Luther Vandross. And whoever else is creeping over the cubicle wall from the radio tuned to some god-awful adult-contemporary or soft-hits or regurgitated-cud station. God, it can really suck to be a freelance...

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Hallowinded

Well, Halloween was mostly a bust, but I guess I was expecting that. The day was one of the most irritating of my entire life for reasons too tedious to get into (let's just say I'll never do a project...

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No Holiday Spirit

I’m such a Halloween slacker. Just about every year, I fold under the pressure to think of something fun to do and fun to wear, and usually wind up just dicking around, all bored. Last year was a notable exception...

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Chicken Soup for the Stomach

Mmmmmmm, a quart of take-out wonton soup mixed with two cans of Campbell's Chunky Classic Chicken Noodle. Now that’s nutrition for you, at least two or three meal's worth....

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Pleasures of the Big Screen

Damn, I just noticed how badly I’ve been neglecting this. Oh well, shit happens. Not that my media-/pop-culture consumption has trailed off at all. If anything, a brief burst of solvency found me treating myself to the occasional CD binge...

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Pals

I’ve got a lot of pals, for whom I’m eternally grateful. I’ve had them organized here by regular friends and friends I had primarily over the Internet, but as time has gone by and I’ve gotten to know some of...

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Hair Angst

Homo Hair Angst. I combed and parted my hair this morning for the first time in about 5 years, just because this is the first time in 5 years I’ve had long enough hair to do so. I look like...

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Vittles for the Vultures

But you don't want to read about my computers anymore. I know you people, I know you just want to feast on the juicy details of my personal life. Vultures! Voyeurs! All of you! It's OK, I understand, and I...

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We're Not Worthy

A big ol' bag of mixed feelings: Like Richard, I’m occasionally hit by an attack of conscience (that flares briefly then goes away) when I think about the sissy boys I who went to school with me, the ones who...

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The Public Speaks

The public reacts to the tattoo: "That rocks so hard!" says Andy ""U" is the symbol for internal energy. I also like how the umlaut makes it look like two lowercase i's. It takes the "you" and transforms it into...

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Tattoo U

The new tattoo. Another in my ongoing series of tattoos based on letterforms I think are beautiful. From a visual standpoint, I’ve been wanting something big, black, and smooth-edged that would peek outside of most clothing, but that I could...

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I Would Like a Boy

Just to throw you all a bone, I contributed my own list to Lori's really fun and sweet I Would Like a Girl/Boy... project. It was surprisingly hard for me to put the list together, because when I sat down...

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Turn and Face the Change

Change is afoot here in the Rumpus Room. You'll notice that I didn't make that a link, because I’m not talking about the web site. I’m talking about my bacheloser pad, the actual Rumpus Room. The most obvious change is...

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Hormone Levels

Much to my surprise, I haven't actually been very horny all this week, despite all the free time on my hands. When I’m busy my urge to fool around is usually a welcome distraction that often motivates me to actually...

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Bizarro World

Even though I’m only two hours south of New York, it feels like I’m a universe away. After doing a quick matinee double feature at the Hoyt's over in Manahawkin (Bring It On and Space Cowboys, Miki and I were...

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Slacker heaven

Wow, I’m loafing around the house watching TV, eating french toast, and there's nothing else that I’m suposed to be doing. Perfect....

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A Little Seashore Getaway

For the first time in almost three years, I am actually away on vacation. My pal Miki and I, who always splurge on something for our birthdays each year, have rented my Aunt Lee and Uncle John's guest cottage down...

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Shout-Out

And can I have a shout-out for all the cute and sexy nerdboys out there who are rocking my world? You know who you are....

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Work Ethic

Although I’ve heard some bad reviews of it, I finally watched Cradle Will Rock and thought it was fantastic. Like a lot of films that try to bea little epic in scope, it relied on developing some characters in broad...

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Sparky's Secret Hair Tips

I hate to be the one to break it to you, PJ, but my cute and messy hair is the direct result of Murray's superior Hair Pomade, not despite it. I was initially drawn to Murray's because of its hypnotic...

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Balms

Relaxing my months-long spending freeze, I went on a minor shopping spree at H & M (where one must forcibly ignore mental images of all the slave labor that must be required to produce such super-cool but dirt-cheap clothing) yesterday...

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Showing Skin

Earlier in the week, I posed for a photographer I met who wanted to shoot my tattoos. I haven't seen all the shots, but here are the previews he sent me afterward:...

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The Drudgery Report

More drudgery, but at least the end is near. And I got to spend a few days this past weekend with my family up at my sister's house, playing with puppies, taking naps, eating yummy snacks, and collecting some more...

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Big Wet Kisses

Stranger, reveal thyself! someone out there is responsible for sending me the copy of Barrel Fever from my wish list, and I wish I knew who. Whoever it was, let me know because you have a big, wet kiss coming...

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Blow Buddies

Aw, that’s no fair. I wish I could be the one to visit Blow Buddies with Jessie. Well, I didn't make it to that particular venue when I was in San Francisco, so I don't know for sure if that’s...

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Party Hearty

Oh yeah, huge party at my place, Friday, September 8th. (Loyal fans will remember their trivia, do the math, and realize that’s the day I turn 30.) Anyone who wants to make his or her way out to the Rumpus...

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Reflections Of...

Now that it's been a year since my first online journal entry, I thought I should take a moment to pause and reflect about what I’ve gotten out of this little experiment. (Those of you who know me better will...

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Me and My Crap, God Bless Us

I get lots of compliments about my spacious loft in the 'hood and the veritable museum of crap that I keep inside of it, but my secret shame is that I usually hate being such a pack rat. There's no...

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Ancient Chinese Secret, My Ass

Note to self: The very friendly Asian woman who runs the grimy laundromat down the street and speaks no English should not be trusted to wash those expensive, richly colored dress shirts that you can't afford to replace right now....

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Dorkitude Never Dies

Old habits die hard. No matter how old I get, or how much poise and self-confidence I have, I still have these occasional relapses to my high-school social instincts. Meaning that a lot of the time when I find myself...

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Social Niceties

Another public apology to Jonno: I’m sorry I ran out of Fat Cock 29 so soon after you arrived last night. It was great to finally see you again, and I certainly wouldn't have been so impetuous if I didn't...

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Taxicab Confessions

OK, now for a great New York moment: Riding a in a cab over the Manhattan Bridge, watching the skyline twinkle while making out, and hoping the occasional pothole doesn't lead to a very unfortunate Garp moment....

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Super!

Happiness is having a copy of the totally fun Powerpuff Girls album, Heroes and Villains, arrive in the mail when you least expect it. Thanks, Unca Dave!...

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No Trees for Me, Thanks

It looks like UltraSparky is down this morning, so I'll just put today's entry here: I felt complete sympathy with jOnnO (man, it gets tedious to type it that way) as he pondered the mysteries of camping. I also had...

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Dirty

I had a ball (so to speak) last night trading favorite porn images with Steve. This was a whole lot more fun and informative than trading baseball cards. Who knew that I could have so many interests in common with...

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Re: Dear John

It's a very modern, very Internet-enabled thing to have someone break up with you via e-mail and AOL IMs, but it doesn't feel very savvy. It still sucks. I was waiting for this one to happen, but I’m still sad....

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Boys Suck

Either he's been kidnapped or he doesn't have the nerve to start that Final Conversation, because there hasn't been any response to my messages. I have a pretty good idea which of the two it is. I’m sad, because I...

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Interior Decorating Triumphs

In happier news, I finally have pictures to show what the Rumpus Room looks like furnished. Loyal readers have probably seen the unfurnished version, but you can now see what I’ve done with the place during the last year. (Just...

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Pictures, Not Words

I’m so damn lazy that I’ve only just processed all the film I’ve shot since the beginning of the year. Expect a slow trickle of scans to be posted here. For starters, here's a nice shot of me with my...

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The Ugly Truth

Despite what you may think, things are not very glamorous here in the Rumpus Room. After reading Tim's theory that we designers work in incredibly pristine areas, and then going to look at the impossibly sexy Apple G4 Cube, I...

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This, That, Other Things

Oh god, it's happening again. I'll warn you all right now — you won't be hearing much from me for a while. This is not a vacation from dealing with the website, this is just a hunch that I’m going...

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Show-Off

Like I’ve always said, Jonno is not stocky. But — god love 'im — he is an exhibitionist....

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Clearing Things Up

Don't believe a word Jonno says! I would never stalk him outright. I’m much too sly for that. Besides, I’m the one that gets all the flattering-but-vaguely-abusive e-mail from HIM. And so what if I happen to end up in...

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One-Balled Wonder Comes Clean

So I’ve been reading this one blog, Firehosé, which doesn't have much content yet but it's really beautiful. And, I must admit, Pepe is cute and I’m a sucker for shit like that. He breezily tossed out this link, however,...

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Gay Shame

It's Homo Overload...whoops, I mean Gay Pride Week here in New York, so I guess it's only fitting that I chime in on the subject. But before I do, I just want y'all to think about this question posed by...

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Wilting in the Heat

As you may notice, all those software demos didn't kill me, although I did get an extra nine hours of them that I wasn't expecting. Every once in a while during the meetings, I would be amazed that people were...

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Meatspace

This weekend's overall theme was "Making the Internet Less of an Abstraction." that’s just a fancy way of saying I tried to get the hey away from my screen for a change and enjoy the real world, but all of...

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The Great Escape

Sweet Canadian Steve, who's just revealed that he's actually kinda foxy, led me to the Big Fun site, for which I felt a strange affinity, even though I’m not an underage southern punk rocker living in a huge old house...

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Room at the Inn

Things could get wacky here this summer. I don't mean "here" as in this site, although there could be spillage into my online life, but "here" as in my house, since I’m taking in a lodger for the summer. My...

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Not Quite Potatoes, But Still Tasty

I’m a big fan of snack foods and I’m glad that I’m a skinny little slip of a thing despite that. Today's indulgence? The ever-so-tasty and surely unhealthy salt & Vinegar Pringles. I love any food that can make your...

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Penises a-Poppin'

Hot damn! Dick is the meme of the day: both Proven and GirlHero see fit to give props to the peep today. It's just as well, because I was getting sick of all this boob talk anyway. Boobs are fine...

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Debtor's Prison

My ass is killing me! Except for an hour-long emergency nap, I basically sat in my uncomfortable desk chair for 17 hours straight yesterday, moving from some blogging to designing tedious trade show banners (and does anyone else think Adobe...

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The Long Late-Night Haul

Once again, coming back to Brooklyn on a weekend night has been an odyssey of train delays, shuttle buses, and alternate routes. Ya know, if I didn't have so much space for so little money, I might not be tempted...

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Body Clock Upset

I’m tired. In my efforts to shed my commuter's sleep schedule, I’ve been staying up later and later and sleeping irregularly, and now I can't get drowsy before 4 in the morning. It's hell on those mornings when I have...

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Pals Is Pals

If June comes bustin' out all over, don't think that I’m gonna clean up the mess. I have enough to do this week. I have taken a moment, though, for a shout-out to a bunch of my Internet pals. As...

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Very Important Mini-Treatise on Electronic Self-Publishing

More blogging than journal-writing today. Can't tell the difference? Than you've probably just been reading this, my half-assed journal, instead of my half-assed blog over at the Rumpus Room. Journal = self-indulgent ramblings that only Internet voyeurs like you may...

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What's the Rumpus?

"What's the Rumpus?" you may ask. It's all about mutual admiration on the Web, I find. that’s the rumpus. I finally wrote to Proven to tell him that I’ve basically become addicted to his diary, and he responds by telling...

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Mosh Pit Hazards

Dave makes a good point about mosh pits: The fear of having your glasses knocked off and smashed in a pit is easily replaced by the fear of having someone elbow you in the eye and scrape your lens across...

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Knock Wood

By the way, I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that I’m seeing skyrockets right this week. I’m keeping my fingers crossed, but my fear of the jinx prevents me from saying more. At least I’m not so...

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Hot Punk Rock Action

I forgot how sexy mosh pits are, what with all the jumping and the sweating and the smashing into testosterone-charged punk boys. I know this may be bad news to Mark and Brad and a handful of others, but being...

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Self-Employment Limbo

The drawback to working at home is that it feels like I’m developing narcolepsy or something. OK, maybe it has something to do with the complete lack of structure to my day, and my recent tendency to stay out all...

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Hobnobbin'

Squeezebox wasn't that much fun, yet again. I’ve had some of my most fun nightlife times ever there (watching huge bar brawls, Sherry Vine's Pat Benatar show, lots of cute punk rock boys) but it's often a bust, too. The...

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Admit Nothing, Suggest Everything

Well, that was a refreshing twelve hours of sleep. that’s what I liked about working at home last time. If I was tired, I could sleep until I was no longer tired. So if, hypothetically, I were to go out...

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Smack Is Wack

My brain is racing today. I started freelancing again, beginning with a three-week consulting project that’s going to involve lots of research and writing. Aren't I supposed to be a designer? Actually, I like changes of pace: that’s what keeps...

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Back Out of the Saddle Again

Oh well. I guess it was bound to happen. Next!...

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Swedish Models Are Just Like You and Me

swedish models and smart porn. Got your attention there, didn't I? I couldn't help but chuckle when that picture popped up in David K.'s Diary on Nightcharm, illustrating a remark about magazine ads that make you embarrassed to be gay....

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Mayday! Mayday!

Mayday! Mayday! One of the perks of going to high school on the upper east side of Manhattan was that our outdoor gym classes were held in Central Park. Now, gym class was not one of my all-time favorites (skinny,...

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Mayday! Mayday! (original)

Mayday! Mayday! One of the perks of going to high school on the upper east side of Manhattan was that our outdoor gym classes were held in Central Park. Now, gym class was not one of my all-time favorites (skinny,...

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Cautious Optimism

I was very pleased with the date. Very pleased. This may be a good spring after all....

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The Filthiest of Heroes

I was raised on filth. More specifically, I have been an ardent fan of the John Waters aesthetic ever since I was an impressionable young high-school sophomore. I was hooked even before I finally got to see my first films...

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Center of the World

Cutey-pie Tom Coates thinks the Internet is all about him today, but Patric King and I are discovering that Jonno is the real center of the Internet. All roads seem to lead back to him lately. What about you? Have...

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All Kinds

It takes all kinds, as the saying goes. Thank goodness for the Skirt Man this also has to apply to him. Be sure to check out the pictures of him with all those Hooters gals. On a totally unrelated note,...

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Retribution

Holy cow! New York State lets you take a tax deduction for Nazi persecution. that’s wild. I wonder if getting harassed by my skinhead ex-boyfriend counts?...

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First Things First

A few months ago, when I was knee-deep in my "should I or shouldn't I" grad school crisis, Adbusters and a few other magazines simultaneously published a reprint of First Things First, a manifesto first written by Ken Garland in...

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Visit with the Brits

Yesterday I was strolling through Williamsburg in just jeans and a t-shirt. Today it's snowing. Jeez, this is a maddening time of year. Luckily, the weather calmed down eventually, allowing me to spend a very pleasant afternoon with Paul and...

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Hipster Credentials

I had a perfectly lovely day walking around with Paul "Dreamboat" Baker (my nickname for him, not his). After presenting him with a three-volume set of knitting hints from the 70s, I escorted him down to Las Venus, and then...

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Updates

For the sake of convenience, I’m back to using Blogger so I can throw interesting crap up here as I feel like it. The more self-indulgent revelations about my life are now permanently housed over at UltraSparky, my more self-indulgent,...

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Very Important Pointless Trivia

It's a new month and I suppose I should throw all my readers a bone and tell exciting stories or something. screw that. I got a bad cold again, which seems to have left me with the official onset of...

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Whine and Boos

Lots of ups and downs this weekend, with the requisite amount of wacky stuff thrown in for good measure. since this is still a family show, I can't share all the details, natch'. I will say, however, that the new...

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The Mego Years

None of these guys are in my collection anymore. This is a historical photo from the Rhatigan family archives. It's all about Mego, baby. As I’ve been putting more stuff up for my big auction on eBay, I realized...

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Ol' Blue Eyes

Peripheral vision kicks ass. I finally got contacts this week, and it's a very startling change. Not only can I see clearly for the first time in months, but I have peripheral vision for the first time in about ten...

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Excuses, Excuses

I’m sorry, Joe, I know I’ve been delinquent with the updates lately, but my latest incarnation as a professional technical writer has been making it very hard for me to come home and type some more. Or at least type...

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Valentine's Dread

I have a ton of work to do and it's late and I’m too mopey to do it. But, as with many things, there's no choice. Happy Fuckin' Valentine's Day. sentimental type or not, I hate this day. The pressure...

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Teeny Tiny Town

It's a big city, but also a tiny town. I haven't felt coincidence closing in on me like this since I lived in Boston. It's been quite a weekend for kookiness in that regard. At least one of those wacky...

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Maniacs at Large

I managed to get a seat on a crowded L train while coming home today, so I cracked open the copy of Snow Crash I picked up again today, and happily immersed myself back in Hiro Protagonist's universe. A little...

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The Critics Praise Sparky

Fame! Fortune! Well, neither, actually. But it's cool at least. Thanks to a well-placed word or two from Jonno, Rumpus Room was picked as "site of the week" by New York's own free fag rag, HX. (Of course, the issue...

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Failure and Friends

Did I mention that I totally failed my road test? Oh yeah, baby! I was all confident and capable going into it, picturing with DVD crispness every detail of everything I would have to do. I was gonna rock. Of...

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Scholarly Data

Overachiever fails out of grad school! Yes, it's true. I got my report card from Pratt today, the one with all the classes I decided to blow off as a means of effectively quitting grad school. In a way, it...

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Subsisting on Snacks

"Lots of snacking does not make a satisfying meal." Every once in a while I manage to phrase a little pearl of wisdom just right. If only I were as good at paying attention to the good advice I dole...

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By Grabthar's Hammer

Galaxy Quest. Brilliant. Hilarious. Who knew? This was the shocker of the weekend for me. This movie was so good, and I had totally dismissed it beforehand because the trailer looked so bad, and because... Well, because Tim Allen is...

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No More Pontificating

As of last night, I am no longer a college teacher. Technically, of course, I was an instructor of a basic computer skills class at Pratt's school of Professional studies, but it was basically teaching college. I loved teaching, and...

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Loaded Gun

Oh lordy, lordy! One of these days that boy is going to make my head explode. And I'll probably have been the one to hand him the match....

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Dragging My Heels

I’ve been in a bit of a fog this week. Dragging my heels, yawning at work, and sitting slack-jawed around the playhouse just watching movies (Singing in the Rain, Poison, Muppets from Space) or goofing around on the website. As...

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Hello, Millenium

Well, that’s it. since no one really cares about the nerdy truth that the new M-word actually starts next year, last night basically was it. Which is fine by me. I actually enjoyed myself this year, believe it or not....

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Hatin' Christmas

Christmas-Eve Eve, and I still hate Christmas. Basically, I like Thanksgiving a lot better than Christmas. I love spending time with my family, and I love getting away for a day or two, but Thanksgiving doesn't get in the way...

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Kickin' Ass and Droppin' Out

We kicked ass on Friday. Fragile was a huge success at our presentation to the Pratt faculty. We dressed down for the presentation to make it look like we were in the midst of moving (that was the point of...

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What I Learned in School

My brain hurts too much to think properly right now. If my last semester of grad school has taught me anything, I have learned: I am much too old and weary to pull all-nighters. Last night I went to bed...

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Misfortune

In my cold-induced delerium last week I failed to notice that Friday was not the 13th, but actually the 12th, so there is no superstitious reason for my counter resetting. Now I just know I lost count after all that...

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Maniac on the Roads

I drove a car for the first time last night. In case anyone needs to justify their fear of driving in New York, let me point out that my driving school had no qualms about putting me behind the wheel...

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What's Going On

An online journal is a stupid thing for me to try, considering how much I prefer to just keep my mouth shut about my life. I suppose it's another attempt to make myself be a little more candid. Catch me...

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Back from the Tumult

Back at last after a tumultuous few days. I’m feeling a little exhausted, and my throat feels a little scratchy. If I have strep throat again, I may as well shoot myself, 'cuz I just don't have time to deal....

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Disclosure

Today's long-overdue journal entry is gratefully dedicated to my long-time pal Joe, who I don't see or talk to often enough to show how great I think he's always been and how much I’ve always admired him. And I don't...

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The Runaround

I never thought I’d say it, but I’ve really come to appreciate the efficient bureauocracy at B.U. Pratt really seems to have its head up its own asshole when it comes to administration issues. There are no signs on any...

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This, That, or the Other Thing

So many questions! Glasses or contacts? Do I have my tonsils removed this November? Or do I take a free trip to Thailand with Miki? Or both? should I splurge on the next tattoo? Can I handle the possibility of...

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Old School

I don't mind being 29. In fact, I was speaking with Gina today about how I think I may have been born in time to enter the design field at just the right moment. My education and experience as a...

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Blow-Out

Well, I said I wanted a blow-out. I said I wanted the last birthday of my twenties to be something to remember. But I didn't expect a week-long bonanza of guests, food, music, and mating frenzies. My party last Saturday...

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Peepshow II

Here's your humble host. I figured if you've come this far, your innate voyeurism must be chomping at the bit. Here's some stuff to peek at. Or you can just go back to the beginning. I’m not just into leather...

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I Really Dig Leather

But you might have guessed that. I like the feel of it, the look of it, the smell of it, the way it can conform so easily to the body beneath it, and all that other stuff that you can...

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Birthday Wishes

Happy birthday, Jen! And mine is coming up shortly enough. This time around, I feel like I owe it myself to have a real blow-out of a time for the last birthday of my twenties. Despite my massive party-phobia, I’m...

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Settling In

This will come as no surprise to anyone who knows me, but I’ve got too many things going on at once. I’ve got to relax at some point. Or at least focus on just one or two things at a...

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Drat, Foiled Again

So much for ambiguity. Alas, I can't say I didn't see it coming. It's usually pretty obvious when someone's not as into you as you'd like him to be. What a pain, though, when it IS really obvious that he...

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Lifestyles of the Queer and Famous

Minor Celebrity Sightings of the Week: I was out at The Cock last Saturday and saw internet personality Jonno, who's cute but stockier than I thought. I also touched Rufus Wainwright's butt as I squeezed out of the bar. Aside...

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See Sparky Shoot

The result of too much time and film. All self-portraits, all taken in haste in order to finish rolls of film....

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The Epiphany I Was Waiting to Have

My first reaction to the death of my older brother Bobby when I was thirteen was one of sheer confusion. I remember when I found my sister sitting and crying on the steps to our house, and when she explained...

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Every Life Should Have a Soundtrack

that’s the reason I can usually be found walking around with a Walkman on. I am so consumed by my love of music that I want it to surround me as often as possible. When I walk around, listening to...

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More Than Advanced Life Forms from the Future

Now don't think that I mean to dis Dexter X. He gets a lot of credit for being the most Devo member of the Man or Astro-Man? invasion force. He just swings a little further out of "cute but nerdy...

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What Made Me into the Nerd I Am Today

One of my primary reasons for starting the print version of Rumpus Room back in 1994 was that I had a burning, frustrated passion for graphic design. I had gotten it stuck in my head at an early age that...

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I have HAD It!

One of the recurring themes of my sad, sorry life is my inability to find that ideal sidekick who's just the right combination of brainiac, goofball, sidekick, hipster, nerd, sexual dynamo, little kid, and muse. Granted, I’m pretty fussy,...

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Shocking Personal Facts About Sparky

Hi boys and girls, I’m Sparky, known to my parents, relatives, co-workers, and many of my pals as Dan Rhatigan. (To my dismay, many of the kinfolk still refer to me as "Danny," the diminutive of my name that...

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The Rumpus Room Manifesto

Originally written in February 1994. I tend to feel disenfranchised, outcast, eccentric. I’ve got feminist sensibilities that make me feel guilty because I’m a man. I feel like my manhood is skewed because I’m not a straight man, so I...

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Ha-chah chah cha!

You've either got a morbid curiosity or a hopped-up libido. Either way, here's a peek at the racier side of the Rumpus Room....

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Imagine you're hearing a low wolf whistle

If you've come this far, you should know right off the bat that I’m not holding out for some unearthly hunk that’s so far out of my league that I may as well be playing another sport altogether. Attraction is...

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This "Perfect Love" Business Is Horseshit!

I’m pretty convinced of it. I desperately want to believe that such a thing exists, but I’m immediately suspicious whenever people claim to have found it. I think they're deluding themselves. Don't get me wrong. I think love is out...

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Sparky Gets Dissed Again

Over and over, I keep thinking of that one thing you said: "You're the last person I want to . . . hurt . . . like this." I’ve got a fucking news flash for you — TOO FUCKING LATE!...

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Where All Men Are United in the Love of Chicken-N-Waffle

Roscoe's the name and they call me the king, grandmaster of the chicken and the waffle thing. I said read my lips and, friends, don't miss a word 'Cause the grandmaster's gonna give you the bird! When I first saw...

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An Entertainment Bonanza

I don't know if it's possible to really explain Marty and Elayne. At least, I don't think anyone could express exactly what it's like to see them, to hear them. Marty and Elayne are a husband-and-wife lounge act who perform...

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Boogie Nights at the Moonlight Rollerway

When was the last time you went roller skating? I don't mean sleek rollerblades, I mean four thick wheels, big orange stopper in the front, disco blaring all around you. that’s what happened to me and my friends at the...

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Gawking in L.A.

Dan Rhatigan, your resident megalomaniacal self-publisher, wrote, lived, and photographed this shocking tale of disaster and wonderment. Accommodations provided by Northwest Airlines and the sinister Dr. Lau. This was my first time Wow. I mean it — wow. Wow. Wow!...

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